Lost
by TooBluetoChew
Summary: Natalie's life is in danger and it is up to a persnickety detective to save both her body and mind in the aftermath of her traumatic experience. Trigger warning for sensitive material.
1. Chapter 1 - Taken

I'm very excited to share this new story. I have several chapters already written, so this will be updated regularly and completed. Thank you for r&r.

-Rachel

This story contains sensitive material

* * *

Lost

Chapter 1

Taken

Natalie Teeger jolted from sleep in dazed confusion. A thud had shaken her from her peaceful dreams that she truly relished these days. Just moments before, her late husband, Mitch lay next to her tracing the outline of her body and catching that ever persistent spot in her midsection that caused a flutter in the pit of her stomach. She remembered laughing and placing her hand atop his to hinder his advances. He had been whispering sweet nothings in her ear, but she couldn't quite make out the individual words. "Mitch! Mitch," she managed through gasped giggles. There had been warm morning sunlight streaming through their bedroom curtains and the additional warmth that radiated through her body from Mitch being curved against her backside. Happiness. She remembered feeling a content happiness in her dream.

She surveyed her surroundings now, only to find herself curled up on the couch in the dark with the TV providing minimal light. Hushed voices carried on conversation on the TV and she gingerly brought herself into a sitting position, rubbing her face in a stifled attempt to shake the grogginess at the same time. She could have sworn the feeling of Mitch against her, the whispered doting, had been real. She could feel her face contorting and her eyes beginning to burn as tears formed, a feeling she had become rather accustomed to when she was forced to accept her reality.

Her thoughts suddenly drifted to the reason she had awaken – the thud. She sat up straighter, looking around to locate the source and blinked forcibly to keep her tears at bay. Nothing appeared to be out of place; however, she was unconvinced that the sound had not taken place. She climbed to her feet and made her way up the staircase to check on her daughter, Julie. The door was hanging ajar, and Natalie peered in to find a sleeping Julie under a heap of blankets. She sighed in quiet relief.

Working for Adrian Monk and witnessing the endless cases unfold had left her restless and on edge when suspicious activity occurred. Perhaps it really _was _nothing – just her anxiety getting the best of her. She shook her head and tried to shake off the feeling as well. She made her way to her own bedroom and pushed open the door. She stared at her bed for what seemed like an eternity. Flashes of Mitch in her dream replayed over and over in her mind. A solemn look crossed her face and she descended the stairs to reclaim her spot on the couch.

Natalie was just beginning to drift off again when a motion in the TV reflection caught her attention. She squinted harder and leaned in to get a closer look. Just as she was able to make out the silhouette of a man approaching her from behind in quick thunderous strides, she felt a sudden furious sting resonating from the back of her head. And then, her world went black.

* * *

Adrian Monk sat agitatedly by his phone. It was ten past 8. Natalie was late, and she wasn't answering her cell phone. She was never late. Adrian drummed his fingers on the counter top and eyed a pen laying askew just to the right of him. He adjusted it to lay perfectly in line with the table groove. _Better, _he thought satisfied. His attention drifted back to a very late Natalie. "Alright, that's it," he exclaimed and picked up the phone once more. Just as he went to dial her house phone, his screen came alive with Julie's caller ID splashed across it. He was quick to answer in a hasty tone, until he heard Julie's voice shaking on the other end.

"Mr. Monk?" She asked hesitantly. "Mr. Monk, something's wrong. My mom isn't here, she's-she's gone."

"Wait-wait, slow down Julie," he shifted in his seat uncomfortably and gave in to a slight twitch as he absorbed the news. "What do you mean she's gone?" He could hear Julie holding back tears and attempting to aid her wavering voice.

"She's not in her room, her car and purse are still here. The TV is even still on. Mr. Monk, I think something bad happened. Please come over, I'm really scared." Julie's breath quickened as she realized she was indeed alone in the house and was unsure of her mother's current condition.

"S-stay where you are, I'll be right there," Monk assured her. He ended the call and climbed to his feet as the endless possibilities flooded his mind. _Not Natalie, _he thought. _Nothing has happened to Natalie. _He wasn't quite sure he believed himself.

* * *

Monk arrived at Natalie's house quickly with Lt. Leland Stottlemeyer and Randy Disher in tow. He immediately took inventory of Natalie's car still parked in the driveway. "No skid marks," he mumbled to himself. They knocked on the door and a worried Julie greeted them on the other side. "Mr. Monk, I'm so glad you're here," she said and wrapped him in a tiny embrace.

Leland first entered the home, surveying the surroundings until Randy, Monk, and Julie joined him. "She wasn't in the kitchen when I got up, so I checked her room and it doesn't look like she even slept in it," Julie noted.

Monk silently took in the information and made his way into the living room. He first noticed the TV and then the couch. A blanket was bunched up in the corner and the seat cushion still held faint impressions. "That's because she slept here last night," he finally responded. "But she got up at some point. The blanket is wadded up where she threw it to the side as she got up." He drifted to the backside of the couch. "There was a struggle," he leveled his hands and spread his fingers, so he could take in the smallest details.

Randy suddenly spoke up. "Uh, Julie, why don't I fix you some breakfast?" Leland nodded in his direction and Julie absentmindedly agreed before following him in the other room.

"How do you know that?" Leland challenged Monk in a lower level. "The couch," he stated as he removed a wipe and used it to move the couch legs, revealing indentions of how it was normally positioned. "It was shoved out of place, maybe from picking her up over it." He paused and pressed two fingers to his temple as an uneasy feeling settled in the pit of his stomach. "Someone took her, Leland."

He placed a hand on Monk's shoulder. "We don't know that yet, let's check out the bedroom." The two men climbed the stairs and found her room with nothing out of the ordinary at first glance. Monk had never been in Natalie's bedroom. It was humbly decorated in soothing colors of cream and sage green. A flower arrangement of peonies sat on her dresser and it smelt strongly of floral scents. Pictures of Mitch and Julie decorated the space. He leaned in to observe them together. _She looks happy, _he thought. He slowly floated around the room, inspecting everything when the window caught his attention. It was sitting slightly above the ledge and he used a wipe to seal it shut. "It was forced entry through the window," he stated as he observed some of the white wood chipped. His thoughts drifted in a sequence and he let his eyes fall to the carpeted floor where men's boot prints could be identified.

"Prints," Leland muttered, impressed yet again by Monk's keen eye. "I'll call it in, you go ahead and keep looking around."

Monk nodded and continued his antics. The bathroom appeared to be untouched; however, he did notice the waste bin full of used tissues. _Crying? _He slid the shower curtain back using one of his wipes, but there were no significant signs held inside. Her shampoo and body wash bottles were lined neatly, with the exception of a shaving cream can. He adjusted it to be in a similar fashion as the other bottles. _Vanilla and honey suckle, _he noted. Suddenly, he was overcome with the combinations that made up Natalie's scent. He was overcome by the realization that she could be hurt, seriously hurt and that he might not be able to find her in time. He doubled over, and images of Natalie flashed in his mind – her crystal blue eyes and cropped golden hair that he could now put a finger on the smell of – vanilla and honeysuckle.

Monk jumped back to his feet, worried of losing precious time. He descended the stairs quickly and went to check out the kitchen, where he found the rest of the gang. "I'm going to ask the neighbors a few questions," Leland said. "You alright?" He lightly patted Monk's arm as he saw the concern etched across the detective's face.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled and waved him off distractedly. Leland nodded knowingly and parted to visit the neighbors. In the meantime, Monk tracked the man's footprints to the kitchen door. _They left here, _he pointed for himself and squatted for easier access. The mat was pushed against the door frame where it had been dragged slightly. _He dragged her out, she was unconscious. But why? Why Natalie?_

Additional cops arrived at the house and filed inside, all asking questions and following up on Monk's inspections. It wasn't long until Leland burst through the door again and gripped Monk's arm. "Her neighbor saw a van last night – heating and air maintenance or something. They drew a picture of the logo." He handed over the drawing. "That's that place over on River street isn't it? Let's go check it out."

* * *

This chapter was simply to set the tone, it is the shortest one of the story. I look forward to uploading the next one.

Let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2 - The Guy

I decided to post the second chapter a bit early, as I'll be going to Las Vegas for quite some time. I will try to update while I'm away. Enjoy.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 2

The Guy

As Natalie's eyes fluttered open, a pain radiated from her head and her arms screamed in a dull, numb pain. As her eyes adjusted to the dim lighting, she realized none of her surroundings were familiar.

A panic rose inside of her and she tried to move, only to find her body was restrained. She looked up at the source of the pain in her arms and discovered them to be bound in splintered rope. Her eyes shot open and her breath quickened to short gasps. She was held up by a metal pole bolted to the wall and her weight sat on her knees uncomfortably. The floor was cold concrete, and she could feel the skin on her knees breaking slowly. Natalie winced in pain as she tried to thrust her arms free of the bondage. She whipped her head around the room and discovered it to be shack like – a small space with no sound coming from the outside world. A small plain mattress lay in the corner that was speckled in stains of different colors.

Natalie tried to swallow the lump in her throat and suddenly felt a wet sensation soaking through her stretched pencil skirt. She looked down at the water droplets absorbing into the material. She hadn't even noticed she was crying, but now the tears were coming fast and harsh, quickly building up to soft sobs that wracked her body.

A deep and raspy voice broke the eerie silence. "You're up," it said simply. A tall and bulky man emerged from the shadows, his hands clasped in front of his body.

"Please, please, I don't know what you want. Please, don't hurt me," Natalie strained through choked sobs. She jerked her body every which way in a poor attempt to free herself from this horror.

"I'm sorry Natalie, but this is just a part of something that is bigger than me," he responded in a low drawn out voice. He took a step closer and Natalie's shortage of breath turned into full-blown hyperventilation.

"You're very attractive, Natalie." He cocked his head slightly and took yet another step closer. "I look forward to spending time with you until it's your time."

"W-wh-what do you mean?" Natalie stuttered, horrified. Her body trembled as he approached her ever so slowly. "P-please, I don't even know who you are. I won't tell anybody," she pleaded.

"My name is Lonny, but it doesn't matter who I am, it only matters who you are," he growled. "And besides, it doesn't matter if you know who I am, you won't be any threat after I'm done with you. You're collateral Sweetie and I intend to take full advantage."

He removed a knife from his sheathe and squatted to Natalie's level. She whimpered as he lightly traced a line from her neck to her navel and finally slit her blouse to reveal her soft clean skin underneath. She could feel the cold blade brush against her skin and it sent shivers down her spine. The blouse pooled around her knees and he additionally cut her pencil skirt off, leaving her only clad in her bra and underwear.

Natalie began screaming – no, shrieking for her life. She cried and sputtered, "Help! Help!" but to no avail. Lonny tore a strip of her skirt material and shoved it into her mouth, tying it securely around her head. "Much better," he mused. A stream of tears continued to flow down her delicate cheeks, knowing what was to come next.

* * *

Blood, there was so much _blood. _Natalie focused on the crack in the ceiling, numb from the world around her. She could feel the sticky residue of blood and other bodily fluids on her skin. Her petite frame lay limp beneath the large man atop her. The rope tied snugly around her wrists dug deeper and deeper into her skin, drawing blood with every movement and she could feel the rope splinters pricking the now raw skin there. Her body ached after the blows she had endured, and she could feel different parts of her body spasming in response to the ever-present pain.

Lonny heaved over her, satisfied with his latest abuse. "It's easier if you don't fight it, I'm glad you've realized this." He climbed off of her, leaving her body fully exposed on the mattress again. There were no more words exchanged this time as he zipped his pants back up and left the shack. Natalie lay unmoving, for fear he would come back yet again and of the additional pain that would result. Something inside of her had broken.

* * *

Lt. Leland Scottlemeyer, Randy Disher, and Monk arrived at the maintenance company building and approached the front help desk. "Hi," Leland began with a flash of his badge. "We're looking for a list of your employees that were working last night."

The woman shook her head with a small smile. "I'm sorry, our operating business hours are only from 7am to 7pm, sir."

Leland scratched just below his lip. "Well one of your vans was spotted last night, approximately 4:30 in the morning."

"I'm sorry sir," she repeated. "There's no way that was one of our guys." She contemplated the situation for a moment and a light filled her eyes. "Although, we did have a lay-off recently. He hasn't returned the company van."

"I'm going to need that name ma'am and his address," Leland responded.

She bent down below the desk and rifled through some files before re-emerging with a list of employee names, numbers, and addresses. "Here you go."

"Thank you," he said politely, yet dismissively and the three of them retreated to the parking lot.

The three of them practically flew to the now main suspect, Timothy Smith's, house. When they arrived, they spotted a tall lanky man with curly red hair. Monk immediately tried to open the passenger side door, but it would not open. "Monk! Calm down," Leland stated firmly. "We have to stay calm, we don't know if this is our guy." Monk barely heard him, he just waited for the click release of the car locks and when they sounded, he practically leaped from the car.

Timothy grinned and waved as he walked up to the group. "Hey fellows, what can I do for you?"

"Timothy Smith?" Leland queried. "That's right," he grinned back. "Timothy, you were laid off recently, is that right?" He raised an eyebrow and placed his hands on his hips. "As a matter of fact," he gave a curt nod. "Do you still have that company van?"

Timothy ran a hand through his hair. "Is that what this is about? I still had three days to return it. Look, I don't know what to do. The van was stolen right out front of this house just last night. I was actually on my way to the maintenance shop to file a report."

Monk exchanged a look with Leland and twitched, blinking forcibly.

"I think I can help you guys, though. The idiot didn't realize I have security cameras set up. They're not great quality, but it will definitely help with filing a report. I have the video right here." He offered it to monk who grabbed it carefully with a wipe in hand.

"Thank you, you've been a great help. We'll keep in touch about the report," Leland nodded and led Monk back to the car, where they inserted the disc in Randy's laptop.

"That's him, that's our guy," Monk said after a moment. A tall and muscular looking man pried the cracked window open and unlocked the driver's door. He slid into the seat and tore off. The timing displayed 4:12 in the morning.

All three of them leaned in closer to the screen and peered at the man in the video. "Doesn't that look like," Leland started, but Monk finished the sentence in an exasperated tone. "Wayne Brown."

"But Wayne Brown is dead," Leland reasoned. "He died in that prison fight."

Monk furrowed his brow and his eyes darted around the space as he eliminated possibilities. "But, they look exactly alike Lieutenant." He gave him a knowing smile, waiting for Leland to catch on as well.

"Family," he finally concluded. "A brother?" An even larger smile stretched across Monk's face as he nodded in response. "A brother."

Leland whipped out his cell phone and dialed the station's number. "Hey Terry, I need some help."

Monk crouched down outside of the passenger side door as Leland talked to a fellow detective from the station. His world was spinning. He remembered exactly what Wayne Brown was involved in and his fears for Natalie's safety tripled. "God," he mumbled. His body began twitching harshly and he felt a panic taking over. He imagined finding her lifeless body, ravaged and broken. He thought about never feeling her hand being placed comfortingly on his back or arm or looping hers around his. He missed her graceful warm touch. The only one that made him feel safer, rather than uncomfortable. It was too much. Not his Natalie. He didn't want to think about what she might be enduring, but it was inevitable in his obsessive compulsive mind.

Leland came around to where Monk was crouched carefully, and he patted his shoulder. "Come on, Monk. I got his name. It took some digging, but Wayne only had one step brother. Name's Lonny. Kid's never been convicted so he wasn't in the system, but I think that's our guy." Monk blinked irreverently. "We're going to find her, Monk."

"In time?" Monk said in an almost inaudible voice. Leland didn't hear him but watched him rise to his feet.

* * *

I know the Monk audience has dwindled, but having rediscovered it on Amazon Prime, my ship for Monk and Natalie is still as strong as ever and I cannot get these stories out of my head. Feel free to share your thoughts!


	3. Chapter 3 - Found

Thank you for all of the reviews, they were a warm and welcome push to continue working on my stories. Here's Chapter 3, enjoy!

-Rachel

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Chapter 3

Found

It was late in the evening by the time the black and white arrived at Lonny's home address. Trash piled on his front porch and it spilt out into the yard. _Junk, _Monk thought to himself. A washing machine sat awkwardly in the yard, along with other house items that did not belong there. Monk flinched at the sight. As he and Leland approached the front door, Randy hung back. "I'll talk to some neighbors, see if I can gather any helpful information."

The captain and detective wandered inside, only to find the interior more disgusting than the outside of it. Leland grunted, disturbed by Lonny's lifestyle. Drugs were scattered throughout the house carelessly and handcuffs were attached to one of the bedposts. He hoped Monk hadn't seen that. "See anything of significance?" He pondered.

Monk simply shook his head. "Where could he have taken her?" He passed a side lamp and touched the top of the shade.

"Persnickety," Leland noted quietly, bringing Monk out of his reverie.

"Huh?" He asked slightly distracted.

Leland stopped and turned towards him. "Persnickety. That's what Natalie always says, isn't it?"

This brought a chuckle from Monk and a small grin broke out across Leland's face. He turned serious again. "Let me tell you something Monk, when we find this guy, I'm gonna –

Randy burst through the door suddenly, interrupting the captain's ramblings. "I know where they are!" he exclaimed. "One of the neighbors said he has some land with a run-down barn just South of here. Said no one goes out there because they know what Lonny is involved in. That has to be where he took her."

Monk said nothing as he ran for the car, the two cops following close behind him. As they drove to the end of the road, Monk took a deep breath and for the first time in his career, he was less inclined to divulge his audience in what took place leading up to the crime. Quietly, he spoke. "I figured it out."

Both Leland and Randy looked at him expectantly, shocked and nervous at his tone of voice.

"Here's what happened," he began. "Back in August, I solved a case that ended in Wayne Brown being put in prison. Wayne Brown was seemingly in charge of a billion-dollar industry that aided in smuggling cocaine by way of boat; however, a fisherman and his wife happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time during one of the exchanges. Wayne had to get rid of them, he didn't have a choice. He would have been recognized and they had seen too much. But, here's where we got it wrong. It _wasn't _Wayne that was in charge of the business, it was his brother, Lonny, who up until now, we didn't know existed. Wayne got into a bad situation in prison and was stabbed to death. Lonny got angry.

He took a ragged breath. "Lonny needed someone to point the finger at, instead of himself for involving his younger brother in the business and ultimately getting him killed. That finger got pointed at me, and by extension, Natalie. He wanted to get rid of me, ruin me and lure me to him through Natalie. He snuck into her bedroom in the late hours of the night, only to find she wasn't in her bedroom. Natalie had fallen asleep on the couch."

An image of her slim body curled up on the couch flashed in mind. _So unprepared, so innocent. _"He must have accidentally made a noise, stirring Natalie and had to hang back. _That's _why she got up, the blanket she was using on the couch wasn't thrown from her body, it was pushed to the side. She obviously got up and must have checked on the noise. Once she had and lied back down on the couch, he knew it was his chance. He drugged her, probably chloroform, and took her out back through the kitchen door. That's where he made a mistake. He didn't check the neighbor's schedules, only Natalie's. Her next-door neighbor works the graveyard shift and when Lonny drove off in the maintenance repair van with Natalie in the back, her neighbor was getting back from work in the early morning hours. They saw the van and the logo, thinking nothing strange of it until we questioned them. He didn't even know they had seen him. She didn't see it coming."

"No one did, Monk." Leland reasoned in a sad voice.

* * *

Natalie yelped and curled into herself as she received another blow right below her ribcage. _How many times now? _She wondered. How many times had he forcefully taken her, claiming her body. How many days had she been here? It felt like a lifetime. No one was coming for her. This was her fate.

She thought of Julie going through her teenage years without Natalie there to take care of her. The heartbreaks, the friend losses, the confusion. She thought of Monk, unable to find someone that would care about him the way she did. How would he cope? She would never see his face again or watch him inspect a crime scene in his quirky way. She thought of herself, never having found another man that loved her the way Mitch did. She would die alone. She wouldn't be there for any of it. She cried harder. _Just end it, just kill me. Please,_ she begged in her mind.

Lonny stood up, swiping his hair back in one smooth motion. Natalie could feel her own, sticking to her face in greasy clumps. She could see a strand clumped together with blood and something else out of the corner of her eye. "Get up," he demanded. He buttoned his pants back up.

She winced and tried to move, but her body resisted, and she collapsed with a huff. Her legs ached so terribly. "Get up!" He bellowed and gripped her elbow hard. He thrust her into a standing position, but her legs were quick to give out again. He held her up by her arm and she could feel the bruises already forming. "We're taking a little trip, Natalie."

"A-a trip? A trip to where?" She sputtered, scared to find out the answer.

He said nothing as he placed a thick sack over her head and led her out of the shack.

* * *

The trio approached the fenced in land at the end of the road. Leland shielded the sun as he looked at the many acres it stretched on for. "This could take some tim-

"No!" Monk yelled and pointed quickly over the hill. "There! Over the hill, there's a building!" He did not wait for a response as he hopped the fence and ran full fledge towards it.

"Wait! Monk! You don't know if the guy – shit." He gave up as Monk was getting further and further away from him. He looked at Randy. "Call it in," he said quickly and hurried to catch up with Monk.

They approached the barn, wheezing in a poor attempt to catch their breath. Leland stopped abruptly and withdrew his gun.

* * *

Natalie twisted and jerked her body every which way, trying to free herself from Lonny's tight hold on her. "Where are you taking me?" She cried out, her body screaming in protest to her movements.

The only sounds were that of his heavy breathing as he dragged her relentlessly to their unknown destination. Her feet fell beneath her and she gasped at the pain from the tops of her bare feet dragging across limbs and rocks.

Suddenly, she could hear the sound of rushing water. _A river, _she realized. _He's going to drown me in this river. _

The noise got louder and louder as they came upon it. She felt the same two rough hands that tormented her over and over again shove her hard in the stomach and her frail, weakened body fell easily to the ground. "Please, please, please," she repeated to him, like a broken record.

He grabbed her ankles and she felt chains being securely tightened around them. The cold of metal against her bare skin made her flinch. There was weight now – a heavy weight, she sensed. _Rocks, perhaps? _Natalie thrashed around on the ground like a floundering surfaced fish.

"This is where we part ways, Miss Natalie. Your detective friend will have suffered a great deal with what I've done to you, just as I have suffered from what he did to me." He stood over her bloody, blue body and placed a cigarette delicately between his lips. "I'm going to remove your hood now."

There was light – warm sunlight as it lowered in the sky. It was nearly night, her favorite time of the day. _How ironic, _she mused silently. Though it was little light, it blinded her temporarily and she felt her haphazard hair falling around her face as the sack was removed. She looked Lonny in the eyes and it took every ounce of her energy to spit at him in response. _Just do it, _she thought as her eyes burned with fury at her fate.

Lonny chuckled at her antics as he lit his cigarette with a flick of his Zillo lighter. "There's that sexy rage. I missed it," he nodded in her direction. He squatted down to her level and removed the cigarette, holding it between his index finger and thumb. "Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to throw you in that river and your world will go pitch black as you struggle to breathe until you finally give in and accept the end. Now, it's misleading looking at the river, but it is indeed deep, deep enough for you to never resurface."

* * *

Leland, Randy, and Monk approached the barn. "It's open," Randy commented. "That's strange."

"There's no time!" Monk barked and burst through the doors. Inside, there was what was to be expected in a barn – enclosures for animals that were not there, dirt, and hay. The old rotting wood creaked as if to greet the trio. "She-she's not here," he spurted through gasps of air.

"There," Leland pointed to a door at the back with an opened latch.

They made their way to the back of the barn and pushed the door open to reveal a small shack-like storage room. A metal pole was secured to the wall in front of them and a simple mattress was placed against the side wall.

"My God," the three of them murmured in unison. Natalie's blouse and skirt were tattered and strewn in the room. "She was here," Monk stated plainly and sadly.

Leland noticed the blood and stains covering the mattress and he was painfully aware that Monk, of course, had too. Randy carefully walked over to the bed and got a closer look at the stains. _Fresh, _he thought in disgust.

"She might still be alive," Monk choked through tears. "Maybe she escaped, regardless we have to find her."

"Right," Leland agreed, though he was beginning to assume the worst.

They walked back into the fresh air and looked around for something that would indicate where she or both of them had gone.

Monk observed the ground and noticed the same boot prints that were imprinted in Natalie's bedroom carpet. "Here," he whispered and began running in the same direction.

* * *

Natalie's eyes widened as she watched him suck down the last of his cigarette. _This is it, this is how it ends._

Lonny flicked his cigarette butt into the water and watched with pleasure as it burned out before sinking in the depths below. "Your turn," he said, turning back to face her.

Despite Natalie's acceptance of her very short future, her instincts told her to fight – fight until the very end. She twisted and thrashed, bit and floundered, but it was useless. Lonny picked her up with ease and walked to the water's edge.

"Goodbye, Natalie," he stated simply and locked eyes with her as he tossed her into the water and watched her take in her last breath with wide, frightened eyes.

There was panic, pure adrenaline pumped panic as Natalie felt her body being submerged by the water. She was quickly sucked further and further down into the water. Blue turned murky green and then black. She tried to move her legs, but they inevitably stayed pinned down by the chains and bricks. She was never a good swimmer and she could feel her lungs constricting in protest at the lack of oxygen already.

Finally, she said the final prayer of her life and relented to the last demands of her body – to give in.

Monk reached the river before Leland and Randy. His eyes scanned the ground, noticing the head cover and then Lonny – a tall, broad man with his hands on his hips looking down into the water. Leland and Randy came up fast behind Monk and held their guns up to Lonny. "Police! Don't move!" Leland shouted. "Where is she!?"

Lonny turned around slowly. "You're too late," he grinned and placed his hands over his head. "Natalie is gone."

"No!" Monk screamed and ran past him, leaping head first into the water. He hated natural water – no, despised it. The bacteria, the germs, all of it. But none of that was on his mind as he plunged deeper into the water. He reached his arm out, grasping for anything that might resemble Natalie. He was startled to feel silkiness and recoiled slightly before realizing – _Natalie's hair._

Monk took a hold of it and swam deeper until he could feel her face and then shoulders. He lifted with all of his might and miraculously she was being held between his arms. Choking for beloved air, he swam the two of them to the surface, sputtering as he emerged. "H-Help me!" He gasped against his strained neck.

Leland kept his gun trained on Lonny's head as Randy put his gun down and took great, quick strides to reach Monk. He gripped the upper part of Natalie's lifeless body. Monk lifted the bottom half of her, only now realizing she was completely bare and ice cold.

Randy dragged her onto the bank and Monk retreated from the water to put his body over hers. _CPR, CPR, _he thought in panic. He pressed on Natalie's chest repeatedly and breathed his oxygen into her body. Randy sat back on his heels and watched in utter horror as his friend was teetering dangerously on the line between life and death, her limp body white as a sheet.

It took what seemed like a lifetime, but Natalie's body suddenly jerked, and her head laid sideways as water was released from her lungs. She coughed and choked against it, but it came. Her eyes opened for no more than a second and then rolled back into her skull again.

Monk and Randy laughed and cried in delirium. "Y-You're alive, Natalie," Monk laughed through tears. "You're alive," he said again, barely above a whisper. He took her into his arms and would not release her.

* * *

Again, thank you for reading. I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.


	4. Chapter 4 - Doctor's Orders

A family member of mine has passed away and I will have to go home. I apologize in advance if there is some time between this chapter and the next.

On another note, I have never written anything this intense and dark - it is quite the challenge. I feel like Dean Koontz or something. I promise by the end though, our favorite characters will find the light again.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 4

Doctor's Orders

There was a quiet hum somewhere in the far distance. Natalie scrunched her eyebrows together, confused. Where was she? Was it all a dream? Was she dead?

She slowly peeled her eyes open. The first thing she saw was a fluorescent light. _Ah, the hum. _She blinked hard and looked around the room. Eggshell walls enclosed her, and the smell of disinfectant was almost overwhelming.

Suddenly, Julie was in her field of vision, standing over her. "Mom?" She felt a small warm hand on her forearm. "You're awake," she spoke with a small smile.

Natalie tried to speak, but something within her halted her advances.

"Are you okay?" She prodded lightly.

Natalie gave a watery smile and placed her hand over top of Julie's. She nodded gingerly as a nurse walked in with Monk in tow.

"Look who's up," the nurse flashed Natalie a gentle smile as she checked her vitals.

Natalie tried to sit up and yelped from the pain seemingly coming from every part of her body.

"Oh, honey. Don't try to move too fast. Your body is working to heal a lot," the nurse said as she rushed to Natalie's side. "I'll let you visit before I fetch the doctor. Take it slow," she warned in a comforting voice.

Julie sat down in one of the guest chairs and watched as Monk approached her mother apprehensively.

Natalie slowly rose her eyes to hold Monk's gaze and as soon as she did, a sudden sob caught in her throat. Tears poured down her cheeks and she relinquished to the soft sobs. She began rocking as everything that had led up to this moment came back to her.

Monk's face fell. He moved to place a hand on her blanket-covered leg, causing her to recoil and hug her knees to her chest.

He took a big step back, worried he had startled her. "Y-You're okay Natalie, you're safe now," he said in a timid voice.

"Julie, w-why don't you go down to the café, and get some lunch? Give your mother a minute to rest." Monk had always been pretty good with Julie, for the most part.

Julie nodded, her eyes wide with worry as she scurried to the café.

"Mr. M – Adrian," Natalie wiped at her face and squeezed her legs closer to her body. "I-I was so scared, I'm still so scared." She pushed the covers off of her. "I just – I need," she looked down at her legs.

Her eyes fell over a series of blue and purple spots, cuts and abrasions. There were bandages on the larger ones. Monk's eyes followed hers and he twitched. She had not observed her body in the harsh fluorescent light. She brought her wrists around and looked at the gauze taped there.

Monk did not empathize well with other people. It had never been a strong suit of his. That was, until Trudy. And now, as he felt the twinge of pain in his heart for the petite woman laying before him, he knew his feelings for Natalie had blossomed into a similar manifestation of what he felt for Trudy. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to make her pain go away. He wanted her to never have gone through what she went through.

"You don't have to be scared anymore, I won't leave you," he affirmed.

As Natalie raked over her body, she couldn't fathom him saving her in that state. _Disgusting, _she thought. She had been bloody, abused, and naked in the river. And now, she was broken and forever stained by that man. She didn't want him to look at her in pure disgust, like he did everything else in the world. She didn't want him to see the disgust that she now painted her body and soul in.

"Please, just leave me alone," she whispered.

Monk twitched. She _wanted _him to leave. He wrung his wrists together and averted his eyes.

"I want to go home," she exclaimed. "Please, just let me go home. I don't want to see you, I don't want to see anyone!"

"They said you would get the OK to be released once they've gotten some test results back. It should be tomorrow morning, if everything looks good," Leland said as he strolled in the room. "Come on Monk, Natalie needs to rest." He paused to give her a sympathetic look. "I'm glad to see you recovering, Natalie. It's good to have you back."

But Natalie knew she wasn't back. She didn't think she ever would be. She watched the two leave and a doctor brush past them to join her. "Gentlemen," he nodded as they left. "Hey there, Natalie. How're we holding up?"

* * *

Natalie had been given her discharge papers and was being helped by the nurse to gather her belongings when the doctor approached Monk and Captain Stottlemeyer.

"Gentlemen," he stated as he shook Leland's hand. He thrusted his hand out to Monk, whom simply shook his head in response. He cleared his throat and shoved his hands in the pockets of his lab coat.

"Look, I wanted to lightly brief you on Natalie's condition before she goes home. She's suffering from severe internal bruising and some tears. The test results for any sexual diseases she may have contracted came back negative, so that's a God send."

Monk twitched and rolled his neck uncomfortably.

"It's going to take her some time to heal through the damage done to her body; however, I'm more concerned about her mental state. Patients that have suffered a great deal of trauma like this have tendencies to self-harm, partake in erratic behavior, really, there's no telling how she will react as she tries to go forward with her life. I ask that you keep a close eye on her and provide excellent support through this time." He paused to hand them a small stack of business cards.

"These are some names of psychiatrists that I have directed patients to in the past, most of which are women. Natalie may have trouble trusting or being around men at this time, understandably. I've prescribed her some pain medication and some antibiotics to help her body fight off infections on her wounds. Some of the antibiotics are topical. They'll need to be applied if she is unable to do so herself, given the pain."

He patted Monk's arm. "Gentlemen, if you or Natalie need anything, don't hesitate to call."

With that, he strode down the long corridor and out of view.

* * *

Natalie was silent in the backseat as they drove to her house. An eerie silence. Monk looked over to see a single tear traveling down her face and he quickly looked away again, feeling as though he had intruded on her privacy.

Leland brought the car around to her front driveway. He turned to look at Natalie. "Julie's already inside, I called your parents like you asked. They should be here soon to pick her up."

"Y-your parents are taking her?" Monk asked, surprised. Natalie and her parents did not get along very well. He couldn't imagine her giving consent voluntarily for them to take Julie.

"I don't want her to see me like this, not after the hospital," she said quietly and opened the car door to get out.

Monk joined her outside of the car and leaned in through the window, careful not to touch it. "Thank you for the ride, Captain."

"Anytime," he gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Call me if you need me."

Monk turned around as Leland pulled out of the drive to find Natalie had already reached her front door. She stood there in deep thought and gripping her side in what appeared to be agony. Monk guessed it was the nasty bruise by her ribs that he had seen at the river.

"Julie will be happy to see you home," he spoke from behind her as he made it to the front door.

Natalie said nothing as she pushed it open and stepped inside the foyer. There were packed over-night bags stacked beside her. Julie appeared from the kitchen and smiled warily. "Grandma and Grandpa should be here any minute." She walked over to her mom and gathered her in a warm embrace. "I'm glad you're home."

Natalie gripped her hard and fell to her knees without a word.

"Mr. Monk is going to stay, right? He's going to make you all better and then I can come back home," Julie said as tears of her own filled her eyes.

"Yes, sweetheart. I'm going to be all better," she responded, though she was terrified that, that wasn't true.

The door opened behind Monk and nearly hit him. "Ah!" He exclaimed loudly and jumped out of the door frame.

Peggy Davenport emerged from behind the door like a phoenix out of the ashes. "Darling!" She yelled and doubled over to squeeze her daughter and granddaughter.

"Ahh!" Natalie suddenly screeched in pain and scooted away from them, falling on her side. Her face twisted in anguish.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I'm so sorry." Peggy placed her hand delicately over her mouth and Julie jolted to her feet in terror.

Natalie winced as she slowly climbed to her feet. "I-I-," it was too much. It was all too overwhelming, and Natalie ran as fast as her damaged body would take her to her bedroom.

"I-um, I should go check on her," Monk stated dumbly.

Peggy was uncomfortable with the scene that had played out before her. She couldn't handle it, herself and picked up Julie's bags. "And we should be going," she rubbed Julie's back.

"But, Mom-," Julie looked confusedly between the two. Her instincts told her to check on her mom, aid her in her time of need, but her grandmother shook her head.

"We'll be back, Darling. Your mother needs some time to process all of this." She led Julie out of the door and didn't look back at Monk.

* * *

Monk approached the door cautiously. He slid his sleeve over his balled-up fist and knocked an even four times. "Natalie?"

He could hear stifled sobs sounding from behind the door. He cleared his throat and his body jerked slightly. "Natalie?" He called again, this time softer.

"I want to be alone, Mr. Monk," she nearly screamed, and he twitched again.

"O-Okay…I'll be out here," he said awkwardly, not entirely sure what the right thing to do was.

On the other side of the door, Natalie was curled into herself on the carpeted floor. She could feel the fibers rubbing roughly against her skin as she shook violently. Tears rolled down her cheek and she bit her knuckle, trying to calm herself.

She looked at her bed, envious of the woman she was days before – the woman that could plop down in bed after a long day, feeling safe and content under her oversized comforter. Where did that woman go? Was she gone forever?

Natalie crawled to it then, heaving herself up by the mattress. She craved the comfort and safeness she felt once before, and she would grasp at any illusion to achieve it.

She spotted the picture of Mitch she kept on her nightstand. He was dressed in his uniform, decorated by his many medals. His face was so _sure, _so _confident. _She wished he was here, holding her and making the rest of the world disappear.

She could hear his voice in her ear, _"It's okay Natalie. It's all okay, honey."_ She remembered how he would help her through all of her hardships, yet the two biggest challenges she faced, she faced alone. The first being his death and the second, she was still deeply in the throes of.

She hugged the picture to her chest and let silent tears soak her pillow. She suddenly felt her soul scratching to get out of her skin. She just wanted to _crawl_ out of her skin. "Please, come back. Come back, Mitch," she cried. "Come back!" She screamed a blood curdling scream.

Monk jumped to his feet from his perfectly positioned spot on the couch. He bolted for the door and banged on it. _One, two, three…four. _

"Natalie!" He yelled in response. "I'm coming in!"

There was no response, only the sound her screaming and crying loudly.

He rattled the doorknob, but it was securely locked. He heaved and shouldered into it, sending it flying open on the hinges.

Before him, Natalie was contorted in a twisted position, clutching the bed so fiercely that her knuckles were sheet white.

He rushed over to her, but she shot up suddenly, resting on the balls of her feet and she chucked the picture of Mitch as hard as her sore arm would allow. The picture frame hit her closet door with a loud smash and shattered on impact. Glass shards were spit in every direction and Monk covered his ears, squeezing his eyes shut tightly at the same time.

She sobbed uncontrollably, and an animalistic sound escaped from deep within her. "Make it stop, please! This isn't real, it's not real!" She cried. Monk twitched harshly, but moved to the bed, reluctantly wrapping his arms around her. He didn't know what the right move was, he didn't think there was one.

"Shh-sh," he tried pathetically.

She thrashed around in the confines, but it was purely instinct when Monk only tightened his grip, finally leaning into her. She was inconsolable, but he had to try. He had to bring his Natalie back from the brink of sole survival.

* * *

Feel free to leave a comment, I really enjoy reading what you think about the chapters. Thank you for reading!


	5. Chapter 5 - Surreal

Thank you for the reviews, they really do mean a lot to me. Enjoy this next chapter.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 5

Surreal

What time was it? Monk blinked his eyes, letting the evening sunlight bring him back from a restless sleep. He looked around confused. Where was he? Creams…sage greens…peonies. _Natalie's room, _he realized.

It was then that he felt a weight against his side. He looked down to find a tiny blonde bundled up next to him. Her eyes were shut but shifting violently behind her lids. She must have been having a bad dream, Monk decided.

Her hand clutched his button-up dress shirt like a life line. She needed sleep, but her cheeks were red from the saltiness of tears.

Monk carefully removed her hand and covered her petite frame with another layer of blanket before climbing out of bed. It had been somewhere around a decade since he had last fallen asleep in bed with a woman other than Trudy. But he knew Trudy would understand. He could feel it, her presence. She was telling him to care for Natalie, to be there for her as long as she needed him to.

He went into Natalie's bathroom, seeking a clean wash cloth. There was a neatly folded stack to the left of the door and he plucked one from the top. He ran it under warm water from the sink and twisted the rag to rid it of excess water.

He peeked around the cracked door to see her chest still rising and falling in a state of slumber. Ever so slowly, he crept up to her, worried of waking her.

With agile hands, he rubbed the warm, wet cloth against her cheeks and then her forehead. The water glistened on her skin and she looked almost peaceful.

She squinted an eye open and looked up at Monk in a dream-like fashion. "Mr. Monk?" She asked quietly.

He could tell she didn't know if she was awake or dreaming. He said nothing and gave her the smallest smile that he could muster. She sounded like herself, for the first time since he had saved her.

"Was it all a dream?" She whispered in question, her head lolling back against the pillow. Her eyes drifted shut again and a single tear slid down Monk's cheek. "Don't leave…stay with me, Mr. Monk," she pleaded softly before falling back asleep.

* * *

_The geode, different to the nodule, contains a hollow center embedded with crystals of…_there was stir next to Monk. He set his book back down by his side and studied Natalie's figure.

She flinched hard, her eyes suddenly shifting rapidly behind her lids. He could see her chest rising and falling faster and faster. Her breath began hitching and a whimper escaped from her lips. He could see them moving, trying to make audible words.

He was just able to make them out. "Please, please," she tried to say.

"Natalie, Natalie," he started to shake her. "Natalie, wake up, it-it's just a dream."

Her eyes flew open in a startled and frightened state. She twisted away from Monk, unaware of where she was or who was there with her. "Don't touch me!" She shrieked.

"I…it's just me," he shifted and twitched. "Mr. Monk," he explained.

She tried to make sense of her surroundings, but nothing made sense.

"You're okay, it's over. You're at home," he gently pushed.

Natalie looked around and locked eyes with him. "Home…" she repeated, trying to convince herself she wasn't still in that God-awful shack.

She struggled to steady her breathing and Monk placed a reassuring hand over top hers. She almost pulled away and he could feel her panic resonate through himself, but he kept it there.

She took a ragged breath and nodded softly, finally coming to terms with the fact that she was safe at home with Adrian. Adrian…in her bed. She suddenly shifted and noticed how close his body was next to hers.

"Did you…did you sleep here with me?" She was surprised and focusing on Monk was a welcome distraction from her pain.

He coughed and blinked forcibly. "Here's the thing…" he started and used exaggerated hand gestures. He was nervous, Natalie could tell.

"No, Adrian, it's okay. Really, it's okay," she touched his arm and sniffed. "I'm actually glad you're here. I-I don't want to be alone right now."

He nodded, slightly uncomfortable with being the person she was depending on. He wasn't sure if he could take care of her and support her the way she needed someone to. But he didn't voice his concerns, only nodded.

A thought came to him then and he turned to look at her again. "You called me Adrian," he noted simply.

She rubbed at her eyes. They felt raw to the touch. "I've called you Adrian before," she replied in an equally poor explanation.

He thought about it for a minute, looking to the ceiling as he weighed the feelings of hearing Mr. Monk versus Adrian rolling off of her lips. "I like it," he concluded after a moment.

Natalie gave him a weak smile. He caught her eye, noticing what poor health she appeared to be in.

Although her green eyes glistened through the red puffiness of her eyelids, he could distinguish such sorrow in them. Dark bags hung under them and her cheeks seemed a bit hollower than he last recalled. _She was so thin already,_ Adrian thought. He was worried if she lost much more she would simply float away.

"Can I get you some dinner?" He blurted out, causing her to twist her head around towards him.

"I'm not hungry," she dismissed quickly and began fidgeting with a thread on her comforter.

"I'll make soup," he said, ignoring her comment. "It's light."

Before Natalie had a chance to argue, Adrian had leapt from the bed and escaped downstairs, leaving her with her thread.

* * *

"Natalie?" Adrian called as he ascended the stairs. His brown leather shoes creaked with each step and he cringed inwardly every time.

There was no answer.

Adrian leaned to touch the top of the banister and corrected the alignment of his already perfectly aligned buttons. "Natalie?" He tried again. "I have the soup."

He balanced it delicately on a food tray with one hand as he carefully opened her bedroom door. The bed was empty, and he could hear the shower running.

He laid the tray down and darted back outside of her bedroom door. "I'll-I'll just be out here," he added quickly. The thought of Natalie naked in the room beside him made his skin jump slightly.

Adrian waited for a moment, but no response came. He decided she would want some privacy and sat at the top of the stairs instead.

Inside the bathroom, Natalie stood stark naked in front of the mirror. Her eyes drifted over every mark, every abrasion that decorated her body. She wanted to scream, but she could not find her voice. She tried, her mouth opened, and she wanted to scream as loud as her body would let her, or sob violently, but no sound came.

She just stood there, taking in her appearance in a frozen state, unable to move. Her body felt as though it was apart from her, as if she were looking at it objectively. She felt so far removed from her own body and mind.

Her reflection showed her touching her stomach, running trembling fingers over it and then her ribs, but she barely felt the sensation. _Dirty, _her mind screamed. _Not mine, _it shouted.

The shower continued to run and hot steam was quickly filling the confined space. As the mirror clouded more and more, Natalie could feel herself coming to somewhat. Her reflection was nearly blurred when she was finally able to pull her shower curtain back and step inside.

It burned, just for a moment. And then the burn felt good. It made her feel alive. It was a relief to feel anything, even if it was pain and so she welcomed it. She turned the faucet notch harshly, reaching the maximum temperature and stood firmly in the face of it.

She looked over her body, finding it a searing red hue. It tingled with horrible delight. As her body came back to life, her emotions did as well. The feelings she was unable to retrieve moments before in front of the mirror, rushed over her and consumed her. Her knees seemed to buckle then, and she let her body collapse into a ball on the shower floor.

Hot water continued to rain down and cascade her body. Finally, the tears came. She felt helpless, like a child, unable to move. She cried and let her arms hang limply on either side of her. Every limb and internal scar throbbed with pain in response. She knew she needed help, but Adrian would not dare help her in such a state. So, she remained in a balled-up form on the shower floor, crying silently for help.

* * *

Adrian had started pacing. He was eighty-seven percent sure the wood floor was worn down by the time he stopped. He looked at Natalie's door with determination. She had been in the shower for what seemed like an eternity and he had begun to worry endlessly.

"I-I'm coming in!" He announced defiantly. He walked through her bedroom and wrapped his fingers on the bathroom door. Steam rolled out from the cracks and he pressed his ear against it.

The only thing he could hear was the water and he shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. An internal battle commenced in his mind. _Check on Natalie, _it said. _Don't walk in there, she's naked! _It argued. Something wasn't right, he could feel it down to his core.

Against his better judgment, he charged into the bathroom.

There was so much shower steam, he could barely see in front of him. The bright shower curtain stood out; however, and he made his way over to it. He could not see her form and his heart quickened.

"Natalie?" He asked timidly now. "Natalie are you okay?" He heard it then, the soft sounds of her crying.

Adrian held his breath and shut his eyes as he pulled the shower curtain back a centimeter. "I need you to tell me you're alright," he tried again.

"Adrian, I can't get up," she sobbed. "It hurts."

"Towels!" He shouted in panic, suddenly turning to feel around for the cotton wraps.

"The…the right, they're to the right," she replied through her tears.

Adrian felt around and sighed in relief when he came into contact with them. He grabbed the one on top and felt his way back to the shower. After grasping around for the faucet and turning it off, he pulled the towel apart, so that it was stretched to full capacity.

"I'm…I'm going to wrap you in this," he explained as if his intentions were not already clear.

He moved towards her with the towel stretched out, as if he were approaching a scared kitten.

"Adrian, it's-I'm fine. I'll do it myself," she said in embarrassment. She tried to stand and yelped at the pain that radiated through her body.

At the sound of Natalie crying out, Adrian opened his eyes and only focused on the towel before him. "No! No, don't try to get up," he said, feeling ashamed that his phobias were getting in the way of helping her.

He tried again, moving closer and bending over the porcelain half-wall. He wrapped it around Natalie's tiny form and could feel her arms lifting slightly so that he could slide his underneath. He lifted her slowly and gently.

Natalie seethed through clenched teeth as she found her footing and wrapped the loose towel around her body tightly.

"Don't slip," Adrian cautioned as he kept his arms under hers for balance.

Natalie took a careful step over the tub portion of the shower and allowed Adrian to lead her to the bedroom. "There's a robe hanging on the hook in the bathroom," she said quietly as she sat down on the bed.

He quickly retrieved it and with his eyes sealed shut once more, he thrusted it towards her. She snatched it out of his hand as a feeling of deep embarrassment bubbled up.

"I'm sorry," she said in a timid voice. Her body trembled as a shiver crept up her spine.

Adrian waved her off in an attempt to seem casual, but he was unable to control a series of blinking and he knew the level of uncomfortableness he felt was showing. He studied her as a tense silence fell between them. She looked like a child, a terrified child. A child terrified of the world around her. Adrian knew that feeling well and there was a tug at his heart for the woman before him.

They had grown to be close friends, best friends, if Adrian would admit it to himself. He knew her better than anyone and she, him. But as he looked at the new tired soul that had invaded Natalie's body, it seemed to have destroyed the liveliness and gentle nature of her former self. She still resided there, though. He knew it. And he was going to help her find that part of herself again.

* * *

Thank you for reading! Can't wait to hear your thoughts and feedback.


	6. Chapter 6 - Comfort

I'm back from Las Vegas! I'm sorry for the delay. As you may have noticed, I'm alternating the usage of Adrian and Mr. Monk because I would like the characters to move into a more intimate relationship where Natalie refers to him as only Adrian. Realistically, I believe it would be a gradual shift. Enjoy the chapter.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 6

Comfort

"It's cold," Adrian said as he picked up the bowl of soup. "Luke warm at best. I'll go heat it up." He paused and turned to Natalie. "Would you like to eat downstairs? I'm going to make myself a sandwich."

Natalie nodded in a dazed state. "Let me change, I'll be down in a minute."

Adrian was nervous leaving her again, for fear that she would have another episode, but he gradually accepted her wish and strode downstairs.

* * *

There was a sound of light footsteps padding down the stairs and Adrian looked up from his sandwich expectantly, finding Natalie clothed in sweatpants and an athletic tank top making her way towards him.

Adrian said nothing as she approached the couch and sat down next to him. Her soup was placed on the coffee table and she barely looked at it as she got situated comfortably. She propped her feet up on the coffee table and cleared her throat, trying to break the uneasy tension that had filled the room.

"Nat-Natalie, don't do that!" Adrian exclaimed with alarmed eyes.

"Do what?" She cocked an eyebrow and her eyes followed his to her feet. She huffed a sigh and let them fall back down to the ground.

A moment of silence passed between them and Adrian went back to eating his sandwich before noticing Natalie hadn't touched her dinner. "Aren't you going to eat it?" He questioned carefully.

Natalie did not acknowledge his question as she picked up the TV remote and flipped through the channels. After settling on a romantic movie, she eyed the bowl of soup once more. Adrian looked at her through the corner of his eye, hoping that she would attempt to eat, appetite present or not.

When she fidgeted uncomfortably, obviously fighting with herself over whether she could stomach it or not, Adrian picked it up and placed it in her hands.

She shot him an annoyed look, slightly offended that he was treating her like a stubborn child. She had always been the one to more or less parent him and his antics.

She studied it, the steaming liquid before her. It was a vegetable soup and she immediately figured there were ten of each vegetable swimming around in it. Her lips turned upwards slightly at the bemused thought. Some things would never change.

Adrian looked over to find the smirk stretching across her lips and it spiked his curiosity. He was glad to see her with such a look, despite the circumstances. "What?" He asked, bringing her back from her thoughts.

"Ten of each vegetable I'm guessing," she said without meeting his eyes. She swirled the spoon around, watching the vegetables bob up and down in the broth.

Adrian shrugged and smiled to himself. The number ten brought such satisfaction to him. It was the perfect number.

Natalie watched him then and her smile stretched further. She spooned some out and swallowed, allowing the warmth of the broth to spread through her aching organs. She could almost feel her body sigh in starved relief.

"What is this?" Adrian took a final bite of his sandwich and retired it to his plate.

"I'm not sure," Natalie replied, watching the scene of a man and woman argue. "It's supposed to be a romance, I think."

"Let's watch a documentary," he offered, dragging his _s _out longer than necessary.

Natalie scoffed. He always wanted to watch a boring documentary. One about rocks or the like. "Mr. Monk, we always watch a documentary. Just give this one a chance, you might like it!" She took another sip of her soup before putting the bowl back on the coffee table and bringing her feet up to sit Indian style. She winced as a sharp pain shot through her core.

She shifted and rested her legs awkwardly to the side. It was still uncomfortable, but not as unbearable as her prior position.

Adrian felt her twitch and watched her try to correct her body. Without saying a word, he grabbed the blanket that rested on the arm of the couch and draped it over her legs before using it as a protective cover to gently pull her legs out straight.

Natalie eyed him, trying to figure out what he was doing, but allowed him to continue out of curiosity.

He ensured her legs were cocooned in the blanket before resting them over his. He could feel her body tense and then relax.

Natalie had never before been in such a close and almost intimate position with Adrian. She relished it, as she finally felt a sense of safety wash over her. She wished she could be silent and not make an ordeal out of it, but this was big, wasn't it?

It took a moment for her to decide what she wanted to say, in fear that it would ruin the sweet gesture.

"Thank you, Mr. Monk," she finally spoke in a quiet voice.

Adrian glanced at Natalie and gently placed his hands over top her legs before he continued to watch the movie.

He didn't know what drove him to do such a thing. All he knew was that he wanted her to feel better and to comfort her. For now, that was the best way he knew how. His words felt empty in comparison. When she thanked him, he knew it had been worthwhile. She could rest now, in the absence of pain and that settled him.

"You don't have to stay here, Mr. Monk," Natalie spoke up suddenly. "I know this is out of routine for you."

Adrian twitched slightly and leaned over to touch the top of the lamp on the end table beside him. It _was _out of routine for him. But he had stayed at her house before and although it seemed she was beginning to push him away, he felt needed, which was a new and unfamiliar feeling when it came to anything outside of detective work. He quite liked feeling needed by Natalie.

"I…I can stay on the couch," he offered.

Natalie was touched that he was abandoning his normal schedule for her sake. He rarely did that for anyone.

"You can take Julie's room if you'd like. She won't mind."

In truth, Natalie simply wanted Adrian to be in closer proximity than downstairs on the couch. If she admitted it to both herself and him, she'd prefer he stay in her bed again.

Adrian cringed at the thought of sleeping in the same sheets that Julie slept in. There were so many germs in dirty, used sheets. He then came to the realization that he had slept in Natalie's used sheets. A weird sensation crept up his spine as he accepted the fact that it hadn't bothered him. Natalie's _dirty sheets _hadn't bothered him.

"I'll stay on the couch," he replied with finality, choosing to not process the meaning of his realization.

* * *

The movie droned on, and although Adrian didn't completely know what was happening in it, he was absorbed by it. Before he knew it, the credits were rolling.

He looked over to find Natalie in a content sleep. Her eyes were no longer moving rapidly behind her lids and he presumed her slumber was without nightmares. _She probably hasn't slept enough to feel fully rested in quite a while, _he thought.

He studied her features then, something he had never had the opportunity to do for an extended period of time.

Her golden hair glistened in the warm lambency and her long, fanned eyelashes rested gently against her creamy cheeks. She had the pinkest, heart-shaped lips Adrian had ever seen. He took in the details of her face studiously. There was a flutter in the pit of his stomach, almost an anxious feeling – but not exactly. He wasn't sure what it was or why his body was reacting that way.

One of Natalie's arms hung limply off the couch and the other rested on her stomach. In the background, _Baby I Love Your Way _played as the credits continued to scroll across the TV screen.

Adrian had a sudden urge to touch her, skin to skin. His heart yearned to _feel _that she was okay and was really there with him – that this moment wasn't an illusion and she was still in harm's way. He stroked one of her fingers and then ever so slowly, placed his hand on top of hers. It was warm and soft, softer than he imagined it would be. He picked it up and folded it into his hand.

There was a shift and Adrian nervously looked at Natalie, expecting her to have woken up. But she only moved slightly and fell still again. He let go of her hand and the TV switched to a commercial.

Adrian lifted Natalie's legs off of him as he climbed to his feet. She woke then and blinked in confusion. Was the movie already over? Had she fallen asleep?

"It's over?" She asked as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Yes," he replied and rolled his shoulders.

She scooted up into a sitting position and felt a little disappointed. She didn't want the peaceful moment to end. "I better go upstairs and get ready for bed. Do you remember where the blankets and pillows are?"

Adrian nodded and started heading for the hall closet.

Natalie narrowed her eyes at him. He was acting strange, strange even for Adrian Monk. _Perhaps he was only tired_, she justified inwardly. She got up as well and abandoned the sanctuary of the living room and him.

* * *

Natalie awoke in a haze. There was a sound somewhere in the distance. She twisted in bed and chanced opening an eye. Morning sunlight streamed in through the window and it seemed too bright. What time was it?

She leaned over to check her alarm clock and found it blinking a neon green 6:02 am. Too early. Nonetheless, she stretched and pulled the covers back before she got out of bed. She wouldn't fall back asleep now anyhow.

There was a stinging coming from her wrists. She brought them around in front of her and surveyed the bandages there. They were old and needed to be changed. Another ache came from her side and back. Those cuts needed to be treated as well. She sighed. There was no way she could reach the areas on her back and she doubted Adrian would voluntarily help her do such work.

She snatched the antibiotic ointment off her nightstand and the bottle of painkiller medicine that had been prescribed to her before making her way downstairs.

* * *

Adrian was standing over the stove, smoke billowing above him. Natalie watched in amusement as he swiftly moved around the kitchen, obviously frustrated that things were not in proper order and place, at least to his standards.

He spun around on his heels at the sound of someone laughing softly. Natalie stood before him, her hair a crazed mess and a silly smile plastered on her face.

"The drawer to your left," she gestured quickly.

"W-What?" Adrian cocked his head in question.

"The spatula. It's in the drawer to your left, Mr. Monk." She swayed over to the counter to peek over his shoulder. Omelets were sizzling in the pan below her and they were dangerously close to burning.

Adrian plucked the spatula out of the drawer and in one swift, fluid motion, he flipped the omelets over. A loud sizzle resounded.

Natalie fidgeted beside him suddenly. She chewed her lip in silent contemplation. "I-I need your help with something."

He did not look up from the concoction as he waited for her request.

"The spots on my back…I-I can't reach them," she said, almost embarrassed at the round-about plea. Referring to the abrasions on her body as spots eased the blow, though.

"You…you want me to _apply _medicine on your back?" His eyes flew open and his mouth hung open just a centimeter.

"Oh, come on, Mr. Monk." She sagged, and he knew it took a lot for her to have asked.

"O…Okay," He pulled at the high collar of his shirt.

Black smoke began to rise behind him and Natalie's eyes widened. "The omelets, Mr. Monk!" She shoved past him and moved the pan to an adjacent eye.

Adrian gave her a sheepish look. Although he was only very mortified for what was to come (he had not touched a woman so intimately since Trudy), he could not help but feel a sense of satisfaction that things seemed almost normal between the two of them, if only for a fleeting moment.

* * *

I wrote this quite fast, I hope it was to your satisfaction. I can assure you that the following chapters will not be focused so much around Natalie gaining rest. For all intents and purposes, I needed a base to build off for Natalie's recovery. Thank you for reading - I look forward to hearing your feedback!


	7. Chapter 7 - Helping Hands

Thank you so much for the reviews, they help guide me in the direction that I want to take this story. I'm posting this chapter a bit early - enjoy.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 7

Helping Hands

The medicinal smell was almost overwhelming. Adrian snapped two latex gloves over his hands and unscrewed the topical ointment bottle. There were cotton swabs and gauze pads surrounding him and Natalie in the living room.

She sat before him, almost shaking involuntarily with nerves. Her shirt was still covering her completely and she was terrified at the thought of having to pull it up for Adrian to cake on the medicine. She heard him take a dramatic breath in and hold it as he dipped a swab in the hydrogen peroxide.

There were no words exchanged as she tugged her shirt over her head to reveal her back, letting it fall and cover the upper part of her chest.

Adrian stared at her bare back, with the exception of her clasped bra strap. A rose design was tattooed to the immediate left of her "angel kiss" at the bottom of her spine. That must've been the tattoo she would never tell him about. Inscribed beside it in tiny cursive lettering was written _All my love. _

He thought it better not to mention it now, but he was nearly inclined to delve deeper into the meaning behind the art on her body. Instead, though, he straightened out his arm and inched closer. He waved a trembling swab towards the raw cuts on her back. As he did so, Natalie could hear his breath hitch.

"One swipe," she encouraged. The air chilled her exposed skin and she shuddered, expecting the pain that was to come in excruciating anticipation.

The que tip barely grazed her skin, when a panic filled her from her toes to the top of her head. "W-Wait, wait," she sputtered. She leaned over to grab the bottle of pain pills next to them. She had refrained from taking any before, but now was as good a time as ever. The cap released with a satisfying _pop _and she shook two pills into her hand. She paused and dumped a third one out for good measure.

As she threw all three into her mouth and retrieved her glass of water, Adrian eyed her skeptically. "Three pills? Isn't that more than the recommended amount?"

Natalie rolled her eyes and took a swig to wash them down. "I recommend you put the medicine on my back quickly, so we can get this over with."

Adrian rolled his neck and shrugged in a poor attempt to shake his own nerves. The bruises on her body had turned a deep purple. Exempt was the bloodied and scabbed cuts engraved in the center of them. He didn't want to think about what Lonny had done to achieve such gruesome marks.

Despite his fears, Adrian coated each one once over. They bubbled in reaction to the hydrogen peroxide as it cleansed them of any bacteria that managed to form there. Next was the antibiotic cream. He dowsed a cotton ball in it and gently pressed it to her skin again and again.

The cooling affect felt relieving against Natalie's fevered areas and she visibly relaxed.

The last step was the bandages. Adrian began cutting perfect squares of gauze and band-aids. He snipped the corners, but the corners seemed off, if only by a tiny bit.

He continued to shape and snip, until he heard an exasperated sigh on Natalie's behalf. "Adrian, they're fine. It's chilly in here, just stick them on. You're not even supposed to cut the band-aids. They're already cut!"

Adrian was just about to reply when there was a wrap on the front door. Captain Stottlemeyer cracked the door open and stuck his head inside. "Hello?" He called as he took a step forward.

He stopped abruptly when he saw Natalie with her shirt barely covering herself and cleared his throat nervously. "Uh…sorry, I figured it was fine to just… come on in." He spun on his heels to face the door again.

Natalie gasped and tugged her shirt down quickly. It clung to her in a weird twisted form, and she tried hopelessly to correct it.

Adrian sat looking like a deer caught in the headlights, his arms still extended outward, holding the medical scissors and gauze.

Leland closed his eyes, ashamed for walking in on such a moment. The image of Natalie's damaged back flashed in his mind and he cringed. That sweet girl didn't deserve what she was going through, no one did, but especially her. She had put her life on the line for so many people so many times and for someone to sneak in her home and take her like a filthy rat in the night was infuriatingly unfair. She looked somehow younger, and in some ways simultaneously older. He had never seen her in a state of needing to be taken care of like Adrian, but the wariness in her eyes shown that she was fighting a battle most would never have to fight in their life.

"It's okay, Leland," she said, still twisting her shirt around to be straight. "Adrian was just helping me put on some medicine. You can turn around now."

Leland coughed as he turned to face the pair again. As he did, his mind wandered for a moment. _Adrian? _He thought. Natalie had called him _Adrian? _An eyebrow shot up, but he refrained from commenting on it and walked closer to them.

"I just came to check on everyone – make sure Monk's not driving you crazy in your own home." He motioned towards Natalie. Truthfully, he was scared that Adrian wasn't providing her the care and support she needed, but the scene he had just walked in on proved otherwise. He was quite proud of Adrian for putting aside his fears to help her.

"Why don't you finish up here while I put on some coffee?" Leland offered, already on his way to the kitchen.

Natalie nodded while still looking straight ahead. "Coffee sounds perfect Captain. Thank you."

Adrian bit the inside of his cheek as he used a gloved hand to lift her shirt once more. As he scooted it further and further up her back, the series of marks were revealed again. The fabric hadn't rubbed at the medicine too much, so he firmly pressed a few gauze pads and band-aids to them.

Natalie wanted to cry. The embarrassing moments she now faced felt endless. Not only did she have to tend to the wounds that, that man left, but she had to do so in front of all her friends and family. Everyone knew what had happened to her and that was almost too much to bare.

The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled the air and seemed to wake her and Adrian up alone, distracting her from her racing thoughts.

Leland peeked around the door frame holding two mugs of steaming coffee in his hands. "Everything good in here?"

"Yes," Adrian called back as he watched Natalie's shirt fall back down. "Everything's good."

He strode into the room and gently offered the two coffees to them. They took them willingly and repositioned themselves so that Leland could join.

"Look, Natalie." Leland leaned to retrieve a card out of his blazer's inner pocket. "I've been doing some digging and this lady is supposed to be the best." He handed over the card and watched her read it carefully. "I just think it'd be good if you talked to someone besides…well, Monk."

Natalie read the inscription. It was a business card for a psychiatrist. "I don't need this," she thrusted it back towards him and shook her head. Her hair bustled around her face and her lips fell into a grim slit.

Leland swept the few hairs that had fallen in front of his eyes back and sighed as he took the card back. "I know, I know. But it could help, Natalie. These people are trained in -" He watched her eyes go dark.

"Thank you for the coffee, Captain," she cut him off quickly and nearly snarled his formal title. "But I'd really like to rest. Now is not the best time." She sat her mug on the coffee table and stood abruptly, trying to resist the urge to wince at the pain it caused, to no avail.

Adrian pulled at the lapels of his jacket and blinked several times. He had never seen Natalie get so angry with Leland before. He didn't think he had crossed the line, but perhaps it was just too soon for her to consider. Although, he didn't know where he'd be without his therapist. He thought of him as his life line, maybe second to Natalie, maybe first. He moved her coffee mug to a coaster, unable to control his compulsivity in such a tense environment.

Leland sighed again and slowly rose to his feet. He had seen her lash out before, when she thought he had shot Adrian. This was her defense mechanism when times were hard, he figured. He held up his hands in defeat and dipped his head an inch. "Just consider it," he spoke before turning to leave. As he made his way out of the door, he placed the business card on an end table and shot her a final look. Then he was gone, leaving Natalie and Adrian alone again.

She stormed over to the end table where he had left the card and snatched it up, making a bee-line for the trashcan.

"Wa-wait! Natalie!" Adrian hurried over to her and gripped her wrist before she could dump it in the garbage. She yanked her hand back and narrowed her eyes at him.

"What? You think I need a psychiatric help too?" She dangled the card over the trash bin, teasing the idea.

Adrian jerked his wide eyes from the card, to the trashcan, and back to her. "It's…It's good to have options. Dr. Kroger helped me," he explained. He stood in an awkward stance, as if ready to fight or run – Natalie couldn't decide which.

Gingerly, Adrian moved his hand towards hers and she held it higher, just out of reach.

"Just let me hang onto it, in case you change your mind," he reasoned. He tried to reach for it again, but she lifted it higher in the air.

Suddenly, he looked to the door and pointed, "Julie!"

Natalie's head spun around to the door and before she had time to react, Adrian tore the card from her tight grip.

She craned her head back to him and clenched her teeth. "Give it back, Mr. Monk."

"I'm good at _Keep Away, _you don't want to do this," he challenged. She tried to grab for it, but he stuffed it away in his pocket and ran in the opposite direction.

Natalie tried to keep up for a moment, but the constant dull ache in her body intensified and she stopped, doubling over in agony.

She relented and let out a breathless "Fine." Adrian remained out of sight for a moment, unsure as to whether she was still chasing him. She took the time to catch her breath and relax her tense body, so the pain would subside.

"I said _fine, _Mr. Monk!" She yelled in defeat. He reemerged, still on edge before making his way over to her.

"You'll thank me later." He grinned and shot her a wink – well, what she figured to be an attempt at a wink.

* * *

As always, thank you for reading. Drop a comment, can't wait to hear from you. I am excited to post the next chapter!


	8. Chapter 8 - All My Love

I'm thrilled you're enjoying the story. I apologize in advance - this chapter is a bit shorter.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 8

All my love

_One, two, three, four, five. _Natalie counted the bottles of wine that were neatly lined up in her pantry closet through squinted eyes. Adrian would insist she get rid of one if he knew there were _five _bottles.

Wait, _were _there five? She closed one eye to keep the room from swaying, so she could count correctly. Yes, five.

Her eyelids felt impossibly heavy. She moved to grab one, nearly losing her balance. Her fingertips had just grazed the cold glass, when she noticed Adrian standing to her immediate left, hands on hips. When did he get there?

"I told you three was over the recommended amount," he said pointedly. "You can't drink on those pills, Natalie." He really hated prescription medication.

He ticked his head slightly to the left and opened his mouth to move his jaw manically as he observed the five bottles of wine behind her. Why did there have to be an uneven number of things? It unnerved him. He could feel the unsettledness in his core scratching to get out.

She made a face, and he guessed it was meant to be a mocking one. She was heavily dosed up and it was showing severely.

"Karma," she slurred, forgetting about the wine bottles.

"Karma?" Adrian asked in confusion. She tended to make comments about karma, specifically about his bad karma in situations, but the term seemed out of context now.

She stumbled over to the nearest chair and plopped down, placing a hand on her forehead. Why wouldn't the room stop spinning? Her eyes swam and she closed them in a poor attempt to refocus her world. "Why did this happen to me, Adrian? The karma…" she mumbled something else, but it was incoherent to Adrian's ears.

He rearranged the wine bottles so that the labels were all facing forward and plucked the fifth bottle off the shelf. He placed it gently on the counter top behind him, achieving a light _clank_. "What are you talking about?" His tone held irritation, but it was more directed at the fact that there was an uneven number of wine bottles, rather than at Natalie. His shoulder jerked involuntarily.

"Karma!" She cried and suddenly became hysterical as tears barreled down her cheeks. "What did I do to deserve this?"

Her outcry tore Adrian from his musings and he quickly made his way to her side, although somewhat reluctantly. The urge to finish organizing and rearranging that blasted shelf nagged at the back of his mind. "Nat-Natalie." He squatted down to her level, but she avoided making eye contact. He couldn't decide if the pills had brought out exaggerated emotions or her real raw, repressed emotions. "You didn't do... anything... to deserve this. Look at me."

He didn't do well playing the part of advisor, but he hated seeing Natalie this way. He needed her to be her old self. This was too much change, too much _suffering _to handle. The world felt as though it was off kilter. "We're going to get through this."

"We?" She asked quietly as she looked up to lock eyes with him. Her eyes were rimmed with red and slightly bloodshot.

A small smile crept across his lips and they both knew they had gotten their answer.

After a moment, he spoke up again. "I-I have a question," his face fell a bit and she looked at him questioningly. Adrian didn't want to take advantage of the fact that she was high as a kite on pain medicine, but he couldn't help the curiosity that boiled within any longer. The need to understand was forcefully shoved to the forefront of his mind. The wine bottles were momentarily compartmentalized, as though they were neatly placed back in one of the endless manila folders of his mind. He liked to imagine his thoughts, phobias, memories, et cetera satisfyingly organized in the little folders until he needed to retrieve them again.

"Your tattoo. I uh…I saw it when I put the bandages on. Wha-what does it mean?" A look of pure surprise etched across her face and he knew he had caught her off-guard.

Natalie looked thoughtful for a moment, almost wistful. "Mitch," she said simply. And then looked somewhere off into the distance, as if retrieving a long-lost memory. "Well, the writing is for Mitch. I got it after he passed. When I took off my ring, it felt like I was no longer carrying him with me and I needed that comfort back."

"All my love," Adrian repeated in understanding. Her eyes glossed over and although she was noticeably impaired, she spoke with precision.

"The rose, I got that back in high school – senior year." She swallowed hard. "I wanted to do something impulsive, an act of defiance against my parents I guess. Anyway, the lady at the tattoo parlor said a rose was symbolic of new beginnings. I didn't know it then, but I was about to leave everything behind and start over. Ever since then, it's kind of a reminder to embrace change, allow it come and accept the things that follow."

She sniffed and rubbed the back of her hand against her nose. "God, I haven't thought about my tattoo in a long time. Sometimes I forget it's there."

A moment of silence passed. Adrian wasn't sure what to say or exactly how he felt; however, her answer satiated his nerves.

Natalie studied his twitching form. She felt an overwhelming buildup of sympathy for the man with frayed nerves in front of her. "Adrian, why don't you go home? Take a shower, change clothes, you know?" She rubbed her wrist. "I'll be okay, really. You've been away from home for some time now. I don't need you being an even bigger nervous wreck than I am." She chuckled anxiously. She felt guilty, having him stay here with her and sacrifice his redundant routine that seemed to be the only thing that kept him from falling off the brink.

Adrian stood to his full form and his shoulder jerked again. He didn't want to leave her. It wasn't long ago that she was having a breakdown. What would she have done if he wasn't around? "Are you… are you sure?"

She nodded and smiled weakly. "I'm sure, Mr. Monk."

He nodded, accepting her decision apprehensively. He thought he should respect her wishes, but walking away from her now sent an uneasy feeling spiraling through his body. "I'll just, I'll grab my things." He picked up his blazer.

Natalie shook her head at him and the fact that his 'things' consisted of one jacket.

"I'll call," he murmured. "Y-you're sure?"

Natalie sighed and let her eyes roll dramatically. "For the millionth time, yes. I'm sure. I'll call you a cab." Despite her being agitated, she was comforted by the fact that he was insistent on checking on her. It was unlike him. Well, unlike him prior to the incident. This new side of him brought out the adoration she had always felt for him tenfold.

She would be fine without him here, wouldn't she?

* * *

Adrian walked through the threshold of his home. It was quiet. The only smell was disinfectant and a hint of lemon Pinesol. Natalie's scent no longer filled the air.

His mind wandered to her. He wondered what she was doing now, alone in her house. He pictured her in the shower again, unable to get up on her own. He pictured her in her bed, grasping at sheets, grasping at anything to make sure her surroundings were real, or maybe to attempt escaping her now, very different reality. He pictured her drinking herself into a stupor, already under the influence of one too many pills.

He squeezed his eyes shut harshly, trying to rid the horrible images from his mind but they played over and over again like a scratched record. Finally relenting to his emotions, he reached for his phone and dialed her number quickly, having barely made it inside his home.

The phone rang and rang. On the last ring, Natalie rattled through the receiving end. "Hello, Mr. Monk."

"Natalie are you okay?" He asked in a panic, so sure that she was suffering without him there at this very moment.

"You just left, Adrian. I haven't even gotten up from the couch."

He heaved a sigh and smiled warily. "You didn't call."

There was static on the other end.

"Natalie?"

"I'll call, Adrian." There was a hint of apprehension in her voice. "Thank you."

"I'm here," he replied in equal measure. It felt vital to let her know that although he was no longer under her roof, he was always there for her. _A two way street, _he thought as he recalled the fond memory they shared after the interstate pile up years before.

He listened for the click, indicating she had hung up and he ended the call as well.

* * *

Natalie hugged her throw pillow to her chest as she sat idly on the couch. For the first time since she had been saved, she was all alone. Her house seemed much larger and much quieter when it was empty. She imagined Julie's voice echoing down the staircase, calling for her. She missed her terribly, but she could not shake the feeling that this house was still unsafe, even if the perpetrator had been caught and put away.

The more her mind lingered on that note, the more paranoid she became. She looked at the black screen of the TV in front of her, recalling the utter and undeniable fear she felt as she watched Lonny storm up to her from behind. She spun around and stared at the kitchen door. It was eerily silent. Despite the certainty she felt that someone was waiting there for her, there was no dark malicious form, ready to remove her from the safety of her home and force her to come to terms with still being in that God forsaken shack. She could see herself being dragged out by him as if it were a scene from a movie. But it wasn't a movie – it had happened. All of it had happened.

She squeezed the pillow tighter. She didn't know what to do. What was she supposed to do? What was anyone in her position supposed to do? It was still early in the morning and she still had to face a whole day by herself. A feeling of dread made her stomach flip and the resonation of blood pounding in her ears made her throat go dry. She knew she was on the verge of a panic attack as her lungs constricted and a rush of adrenaline coursed through her petite body.

She thought about the wine in her pantry again. Tempting as it was, she thought better of it. Adrian was right, drinking in her state wouldn't do any good. She looked up slowly to the fan, watching the blades go around and around.

She couldn't be in her house any longer. She was sure she was going mad. Before her mind could catch up with what her body was doing, she snatched her keys off the hook by the door and bolted for the car before she lost her nerve.

* * *

I am realizing now that this is might be quite the slow-developing story, but I have lots in store. Thoughts? Comments? I'm happy to hear them!


	9. Chapter 9 - The Market

Thank you so much for the reviews! To accommodate for the length of the last chapter, this one is a bit longer. Enjoy.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 9

The Market

The storefront of the grocery store came into view as Natalie's car tentatively climbed the hill to pull in the parking lot. She eyed a spot close to the double doors and whipped her car into it with expertise, perfectly aligning her car in the small space.

She retracted her hands from the steering wheel, only then realizing how tightly she had been gripping it. Her joints ached as she flexed her fingers deliberately. The drive had been a blur but soothing to her shot nerves. Perhaps it had been against her better judgment to drive while inebriated on pills.

Two men breezed past her car on their way into the store and they looked in her direction, catching her eye. She flinched involuntarily and was quick to avert her gaze. They towered over the other shoppers, an estimated 6 foot two or taller, she guessed. She wanted to shake her head, to stop the incessant thought that they were a threat to her well-being, but that would draw attention. She shrunk into herself, trying to build the courage to get out of the car as the men strode into the store, ignorant towards her paranoia over their presence.

_So many people, _she thought. Having never experienced the fear she felt now for simply going into a grocery store, she was floored at her own bodily response. It shook, against her weakened willpower and she gripped her wrist tightly to try and steady the tremble. It stung violently, despite the cushion of the bandage and she released it with a wince. "Come on, Natalie," she muttered to herself. "This is pathetic. Get it _together._"

She unbuckled her seat belt with a quiet _click _and allowed it to sling back into its former position. With a final deep breath, she mustered all the courage she had and abandoned the safety of the car's tight confines.

_Normal, just be normal, _she berated herself as the automatic doors whined open upon her arrival.

The lighting was harsher than she would have preferred. It made her much too conscious about the many visible bandages that bedecked her body. She stared anxiously from person to person, noticing the way their faces twisted into curious looks in response. How did she appear to all of these people? Could they see it? Could they see through her attempt to hide what a broken mess she was, as if she were transparent?

She bowed her head low, shuffling quickly to a deserted isle to avoid the torment of onlookers any longer. There wasn't anything she even really needed from the market, but she wanted – _needed _to prove to herself that she could still function like a normal person. But her confidence in that was faltering. She thought being around people would help subside the fear of being alone, but she found she was feeling lonelier amongst the crowd than sitting in her living room in pensive solitude.

She tugged at the sleeves of her shirt absentmindedly. An elderly woman with cropped graying hair turned onto the isle from the opposite end, interrupting her thoughts. Large pearl earrings drooped on her earlobes and a clunky pearl necklace that hung on her aged skin made a matching set. Natalie could feel her cloudy blue eyes boring over her and she turned quickly, trying to scan the items on the shelf to aid in looking like a regular shopper.

Despite her best efforts, the little gray-haired woman bustled over to her, jewelry jostling around with every tiny, purposeful step. She stuck a hand out, resting it gently on Natalie's arm.

Natalie flinched immediately, backing away as she did so. The woman's fragile hand hung in the air, as though she were approaching a timid and beaten dog. Natalie could make out the veins through her paper-thin skin. They mapped around the back of her hand and disappeared beneath her sleeve. _So blue, so pronounced, _Natalie marveled silently.

"Darling, are you alright?" She asked in a strained albeit eloquent voice. "I saw you when you came through the door… you look quite scared and if you don't mind my saying, a little battered."

So, there it was, Natalie's fears were confirmed in detriment. She was as obvious as an orange traffic cone sitting in the middle of the grocery store – out of place, out of the norm.

"I-I'm alright," she lied. "Thank you, though." She turned to leave but felt the touch of the elderly woman on her arm again. This time, she refrained from moving away.

"Honey," she stated knowingly.

Natalie reluctantly turned to her again.

"If you need help, I'd be happy to help you." She gave Natalie a soft and understanding smile. It was welcoming and she was almost inclined to fold, to crumble before this little old woman and let her comfort her. But she resisted.

"I…I was in an accident a few days ago. I guess I'm still a little out of it," she fibbed, although it did hold some truth.

The woman looked at her skeptically and turned Natalie's wrist over delicately. "You got _these _in a car accident?" She looked minutely at the wrapped cuts. Although her choice words were accusatory, Natalie could detect sympathy. It did not abate her flaring anger, though.

Natalie tore her arm away, spinning on her heels. The woman no longer seemed to be a safe haven. "Thank you so much for your concern, but I really have to get going now." She waved her hand behind her as she scurried out of the isle. "Thanks!" She called and released a breath she didn't realize she had been holding when she was out of view. _Mind your own business, _she thought defensively and pulled her sleeves down to cover her wrists.

Deciding that the market had been a bad idea (to say the least), she made a beeline for her car. Eyes were on her again as she hurried through the masses of people. _Stop looking, just stop looking! _

* * *

Adrian rolled his shoulders as he stewed in quiet contemplation. Natalie had not called. It had been close to two hours since he last talked with her. What could she possibly be doing that she hadn't thought to call? Anxiety swarmed within him, causing him to blink and jerk reflexively every few seconds. It was unbearable.

He chopped a few more pieces of potato in perfect miniature squares. Cooking and meal preparation tended to sooth his restless soul. He had learned that technique from Trudy. She had always been a better cook than he, but after her passing he was determined to fix her signature meals in similar fashion. _Just another way to honor her memory, _he mused.

His mind drifted back to Natalie. It did that a lot these days – drifting from Trudy to Natalie. He pondered over what that meant, but quickly diminished the idea of entertaining it. He didn't _want _to know what that meant.

As he slid the last block of potato from its resting spot on the chef knife into the potato salad, he heaved a sigh. Another task completed and one less task to distract him from worrying about Natalie. He groaned loudly as he sealed the Tupperware of potato salad and moved to the front door again.

He stood there, staring at it for what seemed like an eternity, fighting a battle within over whether he should check on her or not. What else was there to do? Vacuuming was an option or polishing all of his 60watt light bulbs. They needed a good polishing. As did the kitchen floor. And maybe the bathroom floor.

The phone rang suddenly, dragging him from his plotted cleaning frenzy. He took great strides to reach it and picked it up without hesitation.

"Hello?" He held the cordless phone to his ear as he moved around his house, finding new projects to work on with every step.

"Hey, Monk. It's Disher. I wanted to check on Natalie, but no one picked up the phone when I called over there. Everything okay?"

Adrian could hear the cringing sound of Randy smacking some food around in his mouth. He could picture the stringy celery jumbling around in his mouth and between the grooves of his teeth. "Pl-please, Randy, stop… stop chewing the celery." He placed his fingers delicately on his forehead, trying to silence the disturbed thoughts and images.

The smacking stopped, with the exception of a final few chews and grinds. He could hear a gulp on the other end of the phone.

"Oh, sorry Monk. Lunch time, you know. I've gotta eat fast. The Captain and I are _swamped _down here. Hey, how'd you know it was celery?" He sat the half-eaten stalk down, glancing around at the police officers and detectives hurrying to their destinations in the small station. "Never mind. So, how is she? Natalie, I mean."

Adrian shifted the phone to the other ear as he removed a clean tissue from a nearby Kleenex box and wiped a speck of dust from a picture frame of his beloved Trudy. "She's…well, she's okay, I think. I left around two hours ago."

"You left her?" He shouted, drawing attention from several officers. He cleared his throat and adjusted his tone of voice. "You left her, Monk? She shouldn't be alone right now."

The other end of the phone was silent for some time as Adrian spotted another speck of dust, and then a smudge. It could be a glare in the glass, but it could also be a smudge. Adrian couldn't take that risk. He rubbed at it, drawing out a long _squeak_ in response.

"Monk!" Randy yelled again, frustrated at his friend's obliviousness.

"Sorry," he mumbled and refocused on the conversation at hand. "She wanted me to get some rest. Something about me being a nervous wreck."

Randy sighed and drug his hand across his face. "You're always a nervous wreck, Monk. She didn't answer her phone. You need to get over there… or I will," he threatened.

Adrian stopped his efforts abruptly, just now realizing what Randy had said before. No one answered her phone. Why didn't she answer the phone? He carefully folded the used tissue and shoved it in his coat pocket. "I'm-I'm on the way."

* * *

Adrian knocked an even four times on Natalie's front door. There was no response. Not a single movement from behind the frosted glass. He tried the door knob and found it to be unlocked. He opened it a crack and leaned inside, only to find the house was undeniably empty.

His heart quickened as he opened the door wider and stepped inside. "Natalie?" He called, knowing there would be no answer. Why did he leave her alone? Anything could have happened. A panic filled his very being and he started blinking repeatedly.

Just as he broke out in a sheen of sweat, there was a loud screeching sound outside. He peered through the still open door and cautiously stepped back out on the porch. Natalie's car halted and sped up on the road until it came to a complete stop in her driveway. It was angled in a horribly crooked position and Adrian winced painfully at the sight. Despite the treacherous parking job, he was washed in relief at the sight of her.

Natalie emerged from the car, slamming the door shut behind her. A sob wracked her body as she stumbled towards the door. She looked up, surprised to find Adrian standing in front of her with worried creases engraved on his face. "Mr. Monk?" She asked in a whisper.

Adrian took a tedious step towards her, then back again. "Wh-where did you go?"

"Um," she crossed her arms over her chest, suddenly feeling like a guilty child caught stealing candy or the like. "The market," she offered casually. Her demeanor told a different story.

"The market? You drove on those pills?" He asked dumbfounded. The question seemed unimportant though when he locked eyes with her. She appeared so beaten and defeated – it was almost hard to look at her in such a state when he knew the strength that she normally carried with her. She was supposed to be _his _rock, not the other way around. "Why…are you crying, Natalie?" Adrian clasped his hands together and twisted his wedding band methodically.

"Just a little too soon, I guess," is all she offered. She tried to regain her composure, but as she took a ragged breath, a new set of tears poured down her face. She relented to a soft sob and covered her face with her hands.

Adrian shifted his weight from one foot to the other before slowly approaching her. "P-please, don't cry, Natalie." He reached out and put a reassuring hand on her upper arm. The warmth from the skin underneath her shirt radiated through his hand and it bolstered his confidence. He felt her lean in closer and he wrapped his arm around the small of her back, gathering her shaking body against him. _Please don't soak my jacket with tears, _he pleaded silently.

As if she had read his mind, she lifted her head ever so slightly so that it was not resting completely against the lapel of his jacket.

"I'm sorry… I left," he spoke as her sob turned into a gentle cry. Her body no longer shook violently, and that fact alone helped cease his fidgeting.

Natalie shook her head against his shoulder. "No, No, Adrian. I asked you to. Really, I insisted that you left. I thought I'd be okay, but being in that house alone…" She let her sentence hang in the air as she cozied up closer to him. She didn't want to think about the fact that if she made a wrong move, he would end the comforting embrace; however, it was hard not to push the boundaries.

"Let's go inside," he stated quietly from above her. "Inside is better."

Natalie said nothing as she allowed her boss to lead her inside, remaining in the protective fold of his arm.

Adrian guided her over to the couch, but she stopped him before they were able to sit down. She turned to face him and placed her hands lovingly on his chest. "Let's go upstairs. I'm… I'd like to lay down, Mr. Monk, but I'd rather not be alone." She rubbed at the back of her neck nervously. "That is, if you don't mind, of course."

He nodded steadily and lingered a moment, wondering what exactly that meant. As easy as it was for him to uncover the hidden agendas and clues of a crime scene, this woman was a complete enigma when it came to their relationship. How she was able to sustain his phobias and hinderances was beyond him. No matter how much he drove her crazy, she continued to stand by him, always present to loop a reassuring arm with his stiff one. He watched her climb the stairs and hurried to catch up with her.

* * *

I look forward to hearing from you and posting the next chapter, as we are getting closer to Adrian and Natalie forging an intimate relationship.


	10. Chapter 10 - The kiss

Thank you for all of the sweet reviews! You're the best. This chapter is a slight turning point for our favorites. The next chapter will be a much larger one. Enjoy!

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 10

The Kiss

The AC unit outside of Natalie's bedroom whirred to life and brisk air blasted through the air vent above them. The bite sent chill bumps up and down Natalie's arms as she huddled closer to Adrian. He fidgeted as she slid further under the oversized comforter. She eased in closely to him, tears still trickling down her delicate cheeks.

Adrian was frozen in place as she laid her head down on his chest and stretched her body out next to his. He could feel her slender body inching closer to him, craving more comfort than he thought he was capable of giving. Natalie had always been a touchy-feely person and although Adrian had accepted that for the most part, it was still hard for him to tolerate on occasion.

"Natalie…" He said in a barely audible voice. She looked up to him with pleading, swollen eyes.

"Can you…can you just hold me, Mr. Monk? Please." She sniffed loudly, resulting in a slightly disgusted feeling shooting from the top of Adrian's sprouts on his head to the pit of his stomach. He tugged his jaw from left to right, then back in place.

He tried to remember doing the same for Trudy. He had never hesitated to console his late wife in her time of need. But this woman in front of him wasn't Trudy. He closed his eyes, replaying the scene of him and his beloved cuddled close in bed as she wept against his then-confident chest. It all felt too familiar. Apart from the fact that the situations were completely reversed.

He opened his eyes again, finding Natalie coward next to him, already red with embarrassment and shame at the request. Time slipped by as he studied her, coming to the realization that this wasn't just any person asking him to hold them – this was Natalie. This was _his _Natalie.

With that, he slouched further down into the welcoming warmth of the sheets and hesitantly opened his shaky arms wider.

At the unlikely gesture, Natalie began crying harder, her stomach aching with each hard contraction from a sob and she wrapped her thin arms around his torso. She begged her body to relinquish, but it did not respond to her commands.

Adrian's mind was in overload, his thoughts shifting rapidly from one to the other. Did he need to do more for her? Was this too much? Was this a betrayal to Trudy? He thought of the tears pooling inside the woven threads of his shirt.

At the feel of Natalie's nimble fingers gripping his shirt tightly, he was pulled back to the present moment. She wailed against him and he knew in that moment that what he was offering wasn't enough.

He held her closer, bunching her up in his arms and for the first time in a long time, pure empathy surged through him. His Natalie was breaking right before his eyes, right in his embrace. "Pl-please…Natalie,"

She couldn't stop the incessant and terrified thought that she would never be the same again. There was no coming back from what happened to her, despite her best efforts. It would haunt her forever. She could see Lonny's face looming over hers and the ropes bounding her wrists. She could smell the sickly foul stench of both herself and the shack.

"I'm sorry," She cried out desperately through tears. She knew this was killing Adrian, having to console her tear-stained body. _He must be utterly disgusted, _she thought suddenly. Although she was certain of how he felt, she was unable to stop. It was as though she had been possessed. The tears kept falling, her body kept heaving, and her hands clutched tighter all the while.

Adrian carefully lifted a hand and laid it gently atop her short golden hair, feeling the soft tresses underneath and between his fingers. "No, Natalie…it-it's okay," he whispered. A moment of silence passed before he whispered from above her again. "I'm sorry."

And he was. He was sorry for what she had been through and what she was going through, more than she'd ever know. _I should have found her sooner, _he thought angrily.

A hiccup jumped out of her, the result of taking in too much air too quickly. His confession held such sorrow and sympathy, causing her heart to flutter.

She bent her neck to peer at him through exhausted, hooded lids. They locked eyes as the world around them slowed to a halt. The soft hum of the AC unit outside of her room fell deaf to her ears as the sound of rushing blood replaced it.

There was something in her eyes Adrian had never seen before. They twinkled with something, something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

She placed her hand gently on his chest and began tracing lazy circles. She watched her hand do so, allowing herself to become captivated for a moment. He went stiff, but slowly relaxed under her touch. His eyes trailed down to watch her hand maneuvering around his chest as well.

There was a gap between his buttons, and she could see the skin underneath. Chancing what seemed like everything, she slid her fingers underneath the thin fabric to feel his bare skin. Adrian jerked reflexively and tensed again, focusing only on the feeling of Natalie's touch. He closed his eyes and took in a sharp breath.

Her eyes searched his, trying to figure out what he was thinking and if it was the same as her. Her gaze fell to his lips, hers aching to connect with them. She needed to feel something, anything besides the looming fear and pain that consumed her now. Similar to when she was in the shower, the urge to feel anything was upon her again with great fury.

A feeling so far removed since Mitch's passing resurfaced with a vengeance. A feeling of _need, want, love. _She inched closer, feeling safe against his warm body. Her face was close to his and his breath tickled her skin. She yearned to feel more of him. The only time she had felt alive since the incident was by allowing herself to _feel _emotions for the man before her, emotions she had repressed for years.

She looked at his lips – they were parted, as if waiting to meet hers. She locked eyes with him again, a desperate look now darkening her eyes with desire. "Please," she murmured in a barely audible tone.

Adrian looked fearful, and she couldn't decide if it was from how he felt or at the notion of what she was intending to do.

She leaned halfway in, praying that he did the same. If she was wrong about how he felt, she could abandon the situation. But still, she prayed he did.

There was surprise as she watched him inch closer to her face. Perhaps surprise wasn't the best way to describe how she was feeling. She tried to place her emotions and found them to be a jumbled mess of surprise, anxiety, and exhilaration.

Her heart melted and raced simultaneously as she closed the gap between them and pressed her swollen lips to his. She felt him jump at the electrical current that thrummed through them but slowly dissolve as she pressed against him more.

Testing the waters, she raked a hand gently up to his jaw and held it there, the other still gripping his shirt firmly. She worked her lips against his, feeling his move with slight confusion.

Adrian felt his fear falter as he marveled at the feeling of Natalie's lips move with experience against his. He allowed her to guide him and tried to quiet the butterflies that anxiety summoned by focusing on the security of her hands steadying his form.

His arms were still wrapped around hers as she shifted her body to cover more of his. Her bust rested on his chest and he felt one leg gingerly curl around his.

Natalie could feel the quick lurches of his heart surge through her own chest. _Thump, thump, thump. _Maybe it was her own heartbeat, she realized.

And just as that realization hit her, the realization that she was quickly running out of breath did too. She leaned back a centimeter, sucking in a breath and emerging from the safety of that intimate moment to enter the profound aftermath.

Her mouth hung open, much like a fish and she shut it quickly before she said something she'd regret. She needed more, more of the feeling he had just given her.

The only sound was that of the AC unit, still steadily purring background music.

"I…" Adrian began, his eyes wild. But before he could finish his sentence, Natalie was pressing her lips to his again, albeit this time in a feverish frenzy.

Having had a taste of the man she so desperately wanted for years sent her spiraling. She moved her hand from his shirt to cradle the back of his head as she let her head fall faintly to the right, capturing his lips in a new position.

Adrian released her, his arms hanging in the air on either side of her. He felt her roll her body over his and scoot up to straddle him.

Natalie grimaced at the pain that her new position caused. There was a sharp shooting pain between her legs, but she soldiered on, carelessly throwing caution to the wind.

Adrian's eyes remained open and he watched as tears dripped down her face whilst she covered him with kisses. He couldn't quite make a complete thought, each one getting barreled over by the next.

It wasn't until she ground against him and he felt a twitch in his lower body that he realized this was wrong. This was all wrong.

"St-stop," he tried weakly. There was no response, as she was too engrossed with this fixation of poor coping. "Natalie, stop!" Adrian yelled as he fell back from her body.

He watched her back away from his face, visibly crumbling as she slowly raised her hands to cover her mouth. There were no words exchanged as she tried to navigate herself off of his lap.

She cried out as she lifted a leg and nearly fell on her side before planting her arm on the bed to catch herself. Adrian grabbed her other arm at the same time, but she was quick to yank it away.

Natalie shook her head, breathing deeply as she was finally able to lift her leg over his and stood up on trembling feet. Adrian moved to climb to his feet as well. His eyes bored over her body, trying to decipher what she was thinking. Hell, he didn't even know what he was thinking. The high he felt from their exchange still flowed through his veins with ferocity.

Gathering all the courage she had, Natalie looked up to him once more with an unreadable expression on her face.

_What have I done? _She thought simply and dismally.

Adrian let his mouth hang ajar, ready to say something when she turned and quickly left the bedroom, leaving him to ponder what had just happened. He made his way over to the cracked bedroom door and pushed it open to peer downstairs.

There was rustling – a coat, he presumed. And then a jostle of keys. Natalie was fleeing.

He pushed the door open the rest of the way and hurried to the stairs where he saw Natalie sprinting for the front door below.

"Wait!" He shouted and started to descend the stairs as fast as his feet would take him, but it was too late. Natalie didn't look back as she busted through the threshold. By the time he had reached the landing, he heard her car come to life and tear out of the driveway.

* * *

This chapter was shorter due to the fact that I plan for the next one to be extremely lengthy in comparison (if all goes as intended, a lot will happen). I promise her destination isn't just a market this time. I'm curious to know what you think, can't wait to hear from you!


	11. Chapter 11 - Turning Tides

Your reviews mean the world to me. I was happy to hear from you as always, along with some new readers (welcome!). Enjoy the chapter.

-Rachel

* * *

Chapter 11

Turning Tides

The sun was dipping lower and lower, painting a pink and orange sorbet of sky as Natalie turned into the harbor parking lot. Boats and yachts of all kind bobbed gracefully in the water. Jet skiers zipped by the setting sun, leaving an impressive wake in their path.

She stalled for a moment, just watching the world go by, unbeknownst to the passerby. It was a beautiful scene and she tried to appreciate it as she would in normal circumstances, but now, all beauty was tarnished for her.

She was so sure a dark rain cloud hung over her head for all to see as she left the car and walked to a nearby dock. The rotting wood below her creaked and swayed. She could hear soft sloshes of water kissing the boats and shore around her.

A boat conveying a group of teenage boys chugged by, blasting _Crimson and Clover_ over their speakers. _A funny combination, _Natalie considered. One pointed in her direction and as though they were a young choir, they cupped their hands over their mouths, hooping and hollering at her in one voice.

She gave them a small smile and wave, watching them float along. It was a welcome reminder that there was still joy and laughs to be had; however, she didn't think that those things would come for her. More so, she hoped they would always come for Julie. She sat gracefully down on the dock and let her feet dangle in the water. It wasn't the delightful crisp transparency you would imagine. Instead, it was slightly murky with mere shadows of fish below. Regards of human presence, boats always at the ready to churn up nature.

It was then, that she finally allowed herself to ponder over what had happened with Adrian. Images of earlier flashed in her mind – his eyes deliberately closing as she touched him, the fumble of his lips trying to keep pace with hers, and the fearful look plastered on his face that made her want to shrink inside herself. Had she ruined the bond that they had slowly built over the past several years?

Natalie threw her head back and looked up to the sky, as if it held all the answers she sought. She wanted to cry, but it seemed her body was finally tapped out of tears. _Good timing, _she mulled, snidely laughing at herself and at the irony.

She considered the possibility that she could no longer work for him, or even remain his friend. Would he want to remain friends? Her face twisted with remorse. She wasn't sure how she would ever face him again. In a poor lapse of judgment, Natalie had allowed herself to reveal her feelings for Adrian. And not in the best of circumstances by any means. She knew she loved him, had for years. But the love she exuded for him back in her bedroom was different. It had begun passionately – a gesture of pure connection of the souls; however, it quickly turned into something raw, something ugly as she lost herself in the numbing effect it had on her pain. Her love went beyond friendship, much to her dismay and there was no denying that now.

She let her head drop again. Her muddled reflection staring back at her was quickly fading into darkness, like a star being swallowed by a blackhole. Soon, the water would be as black as coal. A mysterious abyss beneath her feet. How strange, she thought, that after everything the water almost seemed to challenge her. It called to her, teasing its strength and magnitude of which she was painfully aware of now. She splashed her foot once, watching the water spit in different directions. A feeling of vexation hit her profoundly and she was almost tempted to challenge it back.

* * *

Adrian stood on the porch, tapping his fingers rhythmically on the banister as Captain Stottlemeyer and Lieutenant Disher pulled into Natalie's driveway.

The captain emerged from the car, carrying with him a sense of purpose in his stature. A toothpick was securely tucked between his teeth and he chewed on it absentmindedly as he approached Adrian. Randy strolled along beside him, trying to mimic the Captain's mannerisms, per usual.

"Monk," he greeted in a gravely voice. He heard his echo as Randy said the same.

Adrian had no patience for exchanging niceties. "Captain, there's no time. I called because Nat-Natalie left. She just… she ran off." He sighed and bent his body before correcting it upright.

"Ran off?" Leland questioned as he slipped his hands in his pocket and shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

Randy raised an eyebrow. "Why'd she run off? Where'd she go?"

There was a dramatic eyeroll on Adrian's behalf and he strained his voice in exhaustion. "I don't _know _where she went. That's the problem. We have to find her, Captain. She was a mess when she left."

Leland nodded and looked to the sky. It was getting darker by the minute, meaning it would be harder to find her. "Alright, well first I need to know why she left. Could give us an idea of where she ran off to," he explained.

Adrian cringed and twisted the button on the cuff of his shirt sleeve. After toying with it for a moment, the little button face was perfectly aligned with the one on his opposite sleeve. He sighed inwardly at the satisfaction.

He was a terrible liar, but he didn't have much of a choice in the matter. "I-I…I don't know. She could be anywhere, Captain."

"Who knew Natalie could be such a flight risk?" Randy chuckled, but quickly silenced himself when he saw his comrades' faces.

"Randy, now's not the time," Leland stated in a disciplinary voice.

"Right," he nodded like a scorned child and shoved his own hands in his pockets.

"Well, let's take a ride around, see if we can find her or the car," Leland offered. "Any chance she went to her parents' house where Julie's at?" He looked expectantly to his friend but found him to be somewhere far away. Something had happened that sent Natalie running and had Adrian stewing. "Monk?" He tried again.

"Uh," he spluttered. "I don't think so, not in the state she was in. Somewhere she could be alone." He dragged the _S _out on somewhere, as he calculated possible locations.

The toothpick balanced delicately between Leland's lips now, whittled down to a thin splinter of wood. "Alright, everyone pile in. Let's go find Ms. Teeger."

* * *

"D-Don't…_do_ _that,_" Adrian chastised. "You can't go through a red light. You'll kill us all!" He gripped the dashboard like a lifeline, his knuckles aching with the strain.

"Monk, it was yellow," Leland explained, feeling as though he were at his wits end with the detective.

"It turned red as soon as you crossed the intersection!"

Leland sighed and ran a hand through his blond strands, just for them to fall back over his eyes. "It was _yellow_." He stuck a hand out in frustration.

"It was red," Adrian stated defiantly and childlike.

"Alright, Monk. It was red." Leland had no idea how Natalie toted him around. He was impossible to ride with these days.

San Francisco was a blur outside Adrian's window as the undercover car skirted around town. They drove past restaurants Natalie frequented and public parks she was prone to explore, but there was no sign of her.

"What about Mitch's grave?" Randy offered eagerly in an almost overly cheery voice for such a morbid suggestion.

"Not a bad idea," Leland reasoned. He took the next left and headed in the direction of the cemetery.

Adrian had fallen quiet in the passenger seat again as he studied the buildings and roads they passed. Where could she have gone to find peace of mind?

The car lurched as it climbed the hill to the entry gate of an impressive expanse of grave sites. Adrian could recall the exact location of Mitch's final resting place from when he accompanied Natalie to dawn it with a fresh bouquet of flowers. All of the headstones were identical in military fashion, but it took Adrian little effort to retrace his and Natalie's steps. "Towards the back, to the right," he muttered as the three climbed out of the car.

As a group, they meandered over to the site and looked on solemnly at the surplus of lost lives. Mitch's headstone read his military position and title, the dates of his birth and death, and finally at the bottom: _beloved husband, father, and friend. _

They stood silently in respect, observing the beautiful bundle of flowers Natalie had arranged during her most recent visit.

After lingering for a moment, Leland sighed in near defeat, thumbing his set of keys inside his pants pocket. "Any other ideas?"

Randy shook his head, feeling frustrated at their inability to track her down.

"Well, we won't give up yet. There's still a lot of places to check," Leland reassured him. "Monk, any clue?"

Adrian closed his eyes, letting his hands balance in the air as he tried to work out where she had gone, as though the situation were a crime scene. He remembered her favorite places to walk, could see her laughing at something he'd done while they strolled down the sidewalk of the park or sat eating lunch on a bench. Something that humored her but was beyond him. They had already covered those areas though. He pictured her smiling, golden hair glowing as the sun beat down on them. Her eyes were impossibly green, greener than the…water. _Water!_ _Dockside, _he realized, and his eyes flew open. That was the only stone left unturned. "Dockside," he exclaimed with certainty.

* * *

"How're you certain it's this harbor? Dockside is huge Monk. Bayside is nicer anyway." Leland challenged as he brought the car around to the small parking lot.

"This is the closest area that she would always suggest for a walk," he replied like the conclusion was both absolute and obvious. "I know she eats at a restaurant close by sometimes, _Francesca's _or something. Bayside is a drive, she wouldn't go there in that state."

Leland and Randy exchanged a look that screamed doubtfulness. Much to their surprise, however, Adrian pointed at Natalie's car with a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Well, I'll be damned," Leland chuckled as they parked next to it and hopped out of the car.

They followed the long stretch of sidewalk, searching for a heap of blonde hair like a lighthouse in the fog. Adrian leaned to touch the top of each pole they passed, quickly fluttering his eyes from the boats and then back to the poles, so as to be careful not to miss one. A street light they were nearing buzzed above him, flickering to life every few seconds. Adrian was sure it would drive him mad, but he carried on.

In the far distance, Leland could see a tussle of gold and a thin outline of a woman. "There!" He yelled to the other two and broke out into a jog. Randy and Adrian picked up their pace to jog in equal measure behind him.

* * *

Natalie studied the black water below her with disgust. She was now standing, contemplating what her next move would be. Anger filled her, beginning under the pads of her toes and boiling up to brim her bloodshot eyes. She trembled before the body of water with fear and rage.

Lonny's voice echoed in her ears. _Your world will go pitch black as you struggle to breathe until you finally give in and accept the end. _

She felt chills coarse through her body, but she would not let Lonny win, she couldn't. She had not died in that shack or water, but something inside her had. And it made her angry. The torture she had endured caused not only herself to break, but her relationships she treasured so deeply to as well. He was getting exactly what he wanted.

She sucked in a breath, sharp and staccato. Her eyes closed as she tried to placate her mind. With a final lunge of courage, she stepped off the dock and was swallowed by the black hole below her.

From far away, Adrian stopped abruptly, along with Leland and Randy. "Where is she? I can't see her."

"What's she doing?" Leland paused, hunching over to catch his breath. He watched as Natalie moved once and then disappeared. "She just jumped!" Leland panted, his eyes wide with worry. "Come on!" He broke out into an effortful sprint.

There was a struggle. An unbounded struggle, but a struggle, nonetheless. Natalie's limbs twisted frantically, trying to keep herself afloat, but a panic was upon her in an instant, taking her back to her last encounter with being submerged in water. Lonny's voice whispered in her ear and she suddenly couldn't remember what was happening. Where was she?

She could remember wanting to do this, prove something to herself, but all of those courageous thoughts vanished like vapor in the wind as she felt herself being dropped back into that river – exposed and discarded apathetically.

_Swim, swim, shh, _she told herself. There was no weight, pulling her down and there were no binds on her wrists. _Swim, _she insisted again. She kicked and thrashed, feeling her body finally lift to the surface like a buoy.

Just as she breached the water, struggling for breath, a body hit her, tumbling her down into the water again. She gasped, sucking in a mouthful of water. The saltiness puckered her lips and she felt around hectically.

There were two strong hands tightly gripping her upper arms. She could already feel bruises forming. And then a cheek, pressed flush against hers as the two of them broke the surface again. A cough to release the bits of water she swallowed. A release of her arms. A hand on the back of her head, an arm around the small of her back.

She opened her eyes to see Adrian staring back at her. He was breathless and his face was as white as a ghost. A feeling of confusion crept over her as he brought her weightless body closer. He rested his head on her shoulder and she could feel him convulsing with tears of his own.

As he had run to the dock, he feared he would lose Natalie again. And then the realization hit him that he could never lose her again. Despite his lack of swimming ability, he'd dove in without hesitation. As he had felt around for her, he had a horrid flashback of saving her from Lonny. Her blonde hair, slippery like silk between his fingers, her limp body retching river water after breathing life into her. He couldn't lose her. In that moment, he knew – he loved her.

A sob made his stomach clench. _I love her_. _I love her. I'm so sorry, Trudy. I love her. _He repeated the statement over and over in his compulsive mind like a mantra.

Adrian leaned back to look at Natalie once more, seeing her in a different light than all the years he had known her. The beads of water speckled her face, giving her an angelic dewy appearance. Her glossy, warm eyes held such emotion and he felt at home looking into them.

With Trudy, the feelings all came at once. He _knew _he loved her from the moment he met her. With Natalie, it was different. It was gradual. The love he felt for her grew over the years exponentially. It blossomed into something undeniable. He would offer his life in the place of hers. She had done many things in her life that he would never dream of doing. She was spontaneous and took risks. She was so different from Trudy but reminded him of her all the same.

He paused, blinking reflexively an even number of times before he inched his face closer to hers, feeling drawn to connect with her again.

Natalie stalled, not really believing what Adrian was insinuating. That was, until she felt his lips tenderly and timidly press against hers. Refraining from allowing herself to lose control again, she simply accepted him and cherished the feeling of him on her. The only thing she let herself do was snake her hands up to his curly hair, where she threaded her fingers through it. He tasted of salt and a subtle hint of coconut Chapstick. Wait, that was her Chapstick, she realized. What a strange feeling it gave her, to taste her own lip balm on Adrian's lips.

From the edge of the dock, both Leland and Randy looked on, utter surprise etched into the details of their faces. They exchanged a look, one of disbelief.

"Mr. Monk and Natalie are…they're…" Randy stuttered.

"I know, Randy." Leland cracked a small smile and chuckled quietly. He patted his lieutenant on the shoulder roughly twice, before guiding him away. "Let's wait for them in the car."

"But…"

"The car, Randy."

* * *

Several minutes later, a sopping Adrian and Natalie came into the captain and lieutenants' view. From inside the undercover car, they watched the pair leisurely drift over, dripping a trail of salt water behind them. He rolled the window down, receiving a quiet _squeal _as it went. Adrian's shoulder twitched involuntarily.

"I'll drive him home, Captain," Natalie spoke, looking at him through a curtain of eyelashes.

"Alright. Have a lovely evening, you two." He gave her a knowing smirk. He began rolling the window up, but Randy was quick to lean over him.

"You guys look great together! I should've seen it coming!" He shouted excitedly.

Leland shot him a threatening look as the window sealed shut.

"Let's go home," Adrian said, turning to look at Natalie again, whom nodded with a sheepish smile.

* * *

This chapter was a bit of a challenge to write. I hope I did it justice. I look forward to hearing from you!


	12. Chapter 12 - Parental Care

Thank you for the reviews - they truly warm my heart. We are nearing the end of this story, but don't fret! I am hoping to convey a beautiful ending in the last chapters and share more stories with you in the future.

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Chapter 12

Parental Care

Natalie stared at her ceiling fan, watching it go around like a mobile singing her to sleep with its silent lullaby. Light from the street lamps outside shone through her curtains, casting streaks amidst the shadows. There was a curious peace she felt waking in her soul after leaping into that water. It was as though she had closed the chapter on one dark aspect of what havoc Lonny wreaked in her life.

They had gotten in the car after dockside, and she drove them straight to her house, without saying a word. Adrian hadn't argued or insisted they go elsewhere, instead he was deep in thought until they arrived. Natalie was scared to break the silence and to witness the turmoil he now faced because of her. But she was happy. He returned her sentiments and although she didn't know what awaited them, she was prepared to face whatever lie ahead.

She turned over slightly to see Adrian next to her soundly asleep with a gentle smile caressing his face. His proximity and peace made her heart ache. How he slept perfectly on his back with his hands folded over his chest, she'd never know. Sleeping in such a way herself made her feel claustrophobic, like she was frozen in paralysis instead of chasing dreams. She laced her fingers with his and cautiously brought one arm to wrap around her midsection.

A contented sigh escaped her lips as she felt his warmth creep through her abdomen. She could feel the warming of each organ, remedying them one by one and vanishing their dull ache.

Adrian stirred then, a soft shift as subtle as a bird fluffing its wings and settling again. But he was awake, Natalie could detect the change in atmosphere.

"Adrian?"

Another stir. Just as expected. "Yes?"

Natalie sniffed and spoke softly. "I'll go see her."

Adrian turned over to face her, the creases in his forehead deepening as he tried to understand what Natalie was implying. "S-See… who?"

"The psychiatrist. I'll go talk to her." She looked anywhere but Adrian's eyes.

He blinked forcibly, searching her face for a sign of how she was feeling, but he found her to be somewhat removed. He only offered a smile, quietly joyous with her decision. It would be good for her.

A wary smile inched across her own face. "I'm glad you're here with me, Boss," she noted, lifting one corner of her mouth into a smirk at the title. She entwined her arm with his, before closing her eyes and willing herself to sleep.

* * *

Early morning light broke through Natalie's curtains. The sun was barely peeking above the clouds, causing a pale, yellow glow in a grey world. There was a warm body next to hers and she could feel Mitch tightening his embrace, sighing softly as they woke together. _Good morning baby, _he'd say, his voice still thick with sleep.

"Mitch," she mumbled groggily. "I was so scared honey…"

_Shh, _he'd whisper. _You're okay now, you're safe here. You're safe with him. _

Natalie opened her eyes at hearing the word _him_. She looked down to find another man's hand wrapped around her waist and resting on her stomach. Adrian's hand, she realized in wonderment and the memory of what happened the night before flooded her mind. Adrian had _kissed _her. He had _held _her throughout the night.

"Adrian," she spoke gently, grabbing his hand and pulling out of his arms. She was surprised when she turned over to look at him, finding him already fully awake.

He opened his mouth to speak, when there was a sudden banging on her front door downstairs. Natalie gave him a longing look, then climbed to her feet, shuddering as she left the warm confines of her bed. She slung a robe around her tiny frame and tugged the cord into a tight knot until it pinched the skin beneath. Behind her, Adrian had gotten out of bed as well and was getting himself together.

As she drifted downstairs, her bare feet padding across the cold wood, she tried to imagine who could be on the other side of her door. Without looking through the peephole, she opened it, albeit cautiously. Her eyes went wide at the sight of her mother, father, and Julie standing before her.

"Oh, Julie honey." She opened the door wider to approach her daughter. Julie's teeth gleamed as she stretched her smile so wide it made the corners of her eyes crinkle.

"Hey mom," she greeted as she fell into her mother's arms. They lingered there, holding each other and relishing the presence of one another after being apart for what seemed like years. Natalie ran her fingers through Julie's long brown strands that smelt of her mother's cherry blossom shampoo.

"Darling, what in the _world _are you wearing?" Peggy interrupted with a discerning shake of her head. "Is that how you greet someone at the door, wearing a _robe?_ For heaven's sake."

"It's good to see you too, mom," Natalie responded in a muffled voice from being buried in Julie's hair. She stood upright again as her father took a step forward and gave her a brief hug.

"Hello, my Dear. How are you doing?" He asked in a voice that seemed as if it had been rehearsed. Perhaps it had. Probably a script her mother prepared for him. His eyes were cold and even after what had happened to her, Natalie felt little surprise at the fact that her parents did not offer more than diluted sympathy.

Natalie gave him a weak smile as she placed a loving hand on Julie's shoulder. "I'm doing better, dad. Thanks."

"I'm sorry," Peggy began again, pointing her sharp chin higher to the ceiling. "I hope you're well, Sweetheart. We thought now would be a good time to reunite you with your daughter."

Natalie cringed at her mother's poor attempt at showing compassion for her 'condition.' She was sure she meant well but fathoming what had happened to her daughter was outside of her set of skills, so it seemed.

Julie peered up at her mother with a questioning look decorating her face. "Where's Mr. Monk?"

As if on cue, Adrian came waltzing down the stairs, shirt collar buttoned up to his chin per usual.

"Ah, speak of the devil," Peggy mused. Watching her daughter's boss walk out of her bedroom in the early hours of the morning was a poor appearance. Especially with it being Adrian Monk. The man was more unstable than her daughter. She shot Natalie a scornful look.

Natalie tried hopelessly to recover before the conversation turned sour. "Mr. Monk! Look who's here." She redirected the conversation back to her daughter as Adrian made his way over to the group. "Julie, how was your stay at grandma's and grandpa's?" Despite her parents' foul treatment of her, she realized that they were indeed good with Julie and that gave her cause to be grateful, nonetheless.

"H-Hello," Adrian stuttered uncomfortably, his greeting going unacknowledged as it was lost in the scramble of conversations. He rolled his neck and looked to Natalie for saving.

She gripped his upper arm, dragging him closer to be a part of the small gathering.

"Aren't you going to offer us a seat and drink, Darling?" Peggy chastised, ignoring Adrian's presence.

Natalie chewed the inside of her cheek hard and she could taste the unmistakable metallic release of the little cuts she had created. "I-I'm sorry, of course. Tea?" She asked through a painfully forced smile.

Peggy nodded before drifting into Natalie's living room, Bobby in tow. "Don't forget the lemon. You tend to forget the lemon," she called behind her. "And don't worry, we won't be long." Her voice carried through the foyer as she disappeared, its ever-persisting pretentious ring making Natalie's hairs stand on end.

Natalie let her eyes roll to the back of her skull as she went to make the tea. Moments later, she carefully balanced four squatty coffee mugs on a serving tray as she made her way into the living room.

Before Natalie had a chance to fully sit down, Peggy was on her again. "So, are you seeing anyone Sweetheart? A therapist, I mean." She took a sip of the chamomile tea and winced at the temperature, as if the steam rolling off the mug wasn't a justifiable warning.

"Yes…well, I'm going to." Natalie blew into her cup, watching the steam curl around the brim and disappear into the air.

"Your mother and I think it would be good for you," Bobby added as an afterthought.

Natalie nodded, feeling heavily inclined to run away from her parents' scrutiny, as if she were sixteen again. She watched her daughter fidget and then Monk. It was quite the comfort to know they were nearly as on edge as she was.

"I see your _boss _has been quite the help during this little…" She paused to sway her hand in the air, trying to find the right wording. "…ordeal," she finished.

_Wrong word, _Natalie thought bemusedly. "He's been amazing," she responded and shot Adrian a girlish wink that did not go unnoticed by Peggy.

"I'm sure," she stated, flicking her eyes between the two.

An uneasy silence filled the room, the tension thick as butter. Peggy nudged her husband as she downed the rest of her drink. Catching her drift, he was quick to finish his as well. "Well, we just wanted to see how you were getting along. Don't be a stranger." She sat her mug down with a loud _clink _as she rose from her seat. She stared pointedly at Julie. "It was such a wonderful time having you at the house, Sweetheart." She grabbed Julie's hand and gave it a squeeze.

Julie grinned and got up to hug her grandparents. She looked to Natalie, whom gestured at them again. "Oh, thank you for letting me stay," Julie spoke. She received an approving and proud smile from her mom.

"Natalie," Peggy announced as her daughter meandered over to her and her father before leaning in for a hug and two light kisses on both of their cheeks. Peggy grabbed her daughter's wrists and gave them a subtle shove down as she looked her sternly in the eyes. "What do we do, Natalie?"

There was a long sigh and Natalie held her mother's gaze, knowing what she expected to hear. It was always the same, no negative emotion was to be shown – it was the family's golden rule. "We soldier on," she tried to speak confidently, but her voice broke despite herself.

"We love you, Dear. Take care of yourself," Bobby finished, still daunting a stoic face.

Natalie was almost taken aback by the sentiment. She couldn't remember how long it had been since she heard her father say he loved her, but she did not entertain it. She simply nodded and focused on keeping her tears at bay. Now was not the time.

Adrian watched the interaction curiously. He felt sorry for the state of their relationship and silently pondered how Natalie was the result of such parents. He stood as the group was saying their final goodbyes and as he inched closer to Natalie, he noticed a tear balancing in the corner of her eye.

* * *

Moments after her parents left, Julie fled to her bedroom to put her things away, leaving Adrian and Natalie alone again.

"You were going to cry," Adrian said suddenly, catching her off guard. "When your parents were here, you were going to cry."

Natalie rubbed at the back of her neck, leaving it beet red and nearly raw before she found the right words. "It's just been a long time since my dad said he loved me, that's all." She gave a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes as she stared at the front door.

"Y-Your parents are…" He began, fumbling with his own wording.

"I know," Natalie interrupted. Her head dropped slightly, and she stared at her chipped toenail polish. They were once a delicate work of rose red, but they now appeared to have seen better days. "I'm going to talk to Julie for a little while, help yourself to some breakfast."

She turned to leave but stopped abruptly, spinning on her heels to face him again. She tugged at her bottom lip, a small smile playing on them. In a childlike fashion, she leaned up on her tiptoes to peck his cheek and blushed slightly at the new territory they had entered. She quite liked it and by the boyish smile that now shone on Adrian's face, she knew he did too.

* * *

We were shown Natalie and her parents' dynamic very few times in the show, so I hope I depicted their relationship accurately. I look forward to hearing from you!


	13. Chapter 13 - Confessions

I apologize for the delay. I have started back Uni for my last year of undergrad, so I have been impossibly busy the last few weeks. But I digress, enjoy the chapter!

-Rachel

Side note: For the guest review that had a story request, please contact me via PM. You will have to log in to do so.

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Chapter 13

Confessions

Julie was curled into a ball on her bed, hugging a pillow tightly against her chest when her mom entered the room quietly. A book sat open next to her, a page dogeared where she had last left off. Julie picked it up and carefully placed it on the nightstand next to her bed so that her mother could sit in its place.

"Hey, Sweetie," Natalie smiled as she strode gracefully over to the edge of the bed where she plopped down and hugged a throw pillow of her own to her chest.

"Hey, Mom," she greeted and leaned up marginally so that she could rest heavily on her elbow. She looked expectantly to her mom and gave an encouraging dip of her chin. "What's going on?"

Natalie took a moment to comb through the decorations of Julie's room. They were impossibly girlish, complete with a small snow globe collection and delicately hung string lights. A display of who she was until the incident. She was supposed to be innocent and ignorant to the horrors of the world. Natalie wished it could stay that way forever, but it was already too late. Julie knew more than she was letting on and Natalie feared the amount of damage that had been done her daughter because of her own torture.

She brought her attention back to Julie. "Something…something happened, Sweetheart." Natalie shifted and focused on a thread that stuck haphazardly out of the pillow. She picked at it absentmindedly as she gathered the courage to reveal the happenings of the last day to her daughter.

Julie chuckled and nudged her mom with her foot. "Well, come on. What is it?" There was a flutter in her stomach, and she was worried for a fleeting moment that another episode or God forbid, something worse had happened.

"Mr. Monk," she began and cleared her throat in a poor attempt to shake her nerves. There was no telling how Julie would react to the news. "Mr. Monk and…Adrian and I…well we…"

"Adrian?" Julie shot up a little higher at the informal title her mom had used. She had never heard her use anything other than Mr. Monk when referring to her boss.

"Well, we're kind of…together, Sweetie. Well, not together exactly. I'm not sure what we are…"

Julie threw the pillow out of her arms, hitting the ground with a soft _thud_. She sat excitedly on her knees and flung her arms around her mother. "Ohmygod, ohmygod! This is great, Mom!" She was unable to refrain from letting out a childlike giggle. "You and Mr. Monk? Are you serious? How? When? I…I can't believe this!"

Natalie released a breathless laugh in relief and only then realized how momentous her and Adrian's new relationship really was. She squeezed her daughter in her arms and from behind her thick brown tresses, Natalie looked up and thanked the heavens above them. A tear formed in the corner of her eye and she leaned back to whisk it away quickly.

"I-I don't know. It just…sort of happened." She threw her hands up and grinned abashedly. Her cheeks turned crimson like two cherries, and she covered her face as she felt the heat rising. "He's been really great this past week. I don't know, I guess, we just started seeing each other differently." She paused and looked out of Julie's bedroom door, imagining Adrian in the kitchen below lost in his own train of thought. "I think it might have started a long time ago."

As she revealed her musings to Julie, Natalie realized she was admitting them to herself for the first time as well.

Julie studied her mom and smiled inwardly. There had been times when she would imagine the three of them as a misfit sort of family – when her mom would lay her head gently on his shoulder or when she would find them sharing a comfortable silence unbeknownst to her presence, but she had never imagined such thoughts would come to fruition. And now, during her absence, the two of them had grown closer than they were ever able to for years.

"I think this is great, Mom. I'm happy for you and Mr. Monk. I really am." Natalie released her daughter from the tight embrace and watched as Julie fell silent, offering her a mind a quiet moment of contemplation.

Despite the joyous revelation, Julie found herself still adamantly concerned about her mother's state of mind. She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and stared at the intricate designs of her comforter. "Are you doing okay, Mom?" She whispered, almost fearful of the answer. "I mean…are you better now?"

Natalie craned her neck to look at her daughter once more. She looked like a scared child again and Natalie could feel her heart chipping away at the sight. She grabbed Julie's arm and pulled her closer so that she could plant a loving kiss on her forehead. "I'm better, Baby," she whispered against her skin. "I'm better."

* * *

Natalie tiptoed through the dining room, sighing at the sound of Adrian rustling around in the kitchen. She peered past the doorframe and watched as he unscrewed a bottle of Sierra Mist water before taking a dramatic and savory sip.

Adrian turned suddenly, catching sight of her watching him. "W-What are looking at?" He asked confusedly.

Natalie hung on the doorframe a moment longer and chuckled before she walked towards him. "Just watching Adrian Monk being Adrian Monk."

The response made little sense to him, but he said nothing as she laced her fingers with his. The gesture was innocent at best, but it felt as though it held heavy meaning as their relationship was still fresh and ambiguous to Adrian.

"I'm going to have some wine, join me?" She knew he wouldn't drink, but she wished for his company at the very least. She did not wait for a response as she moved to the cabinet and retrieved a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, dated 1984.

"What's the occasion?" He asked as he watched her grab a wide-mouthed wine glass and pour a generous amount into it.

"What do you mean?" She held the glass to her lips and tasted the unmistakable bite that only a bitter glass of red wine granted. It was soothing as it dripped down her throat and coursed through her body, the warmth settling in her empty stomach.

"1984, it's a fairly old bottle." He ticked his head to the right and twisted his right hand around his left wrist. He could feel his body sigh at the little release of anxiety that seemed to stir endlessly inside of him.

Natalie shrugged as she guided him to the dining room table. The only light was that of the surrounding rooms, creating a soft yellow lambency for them to bask in. "I guess a sort of celebration. Julie's home, we're…we're good," she offered, cringing at her own terminology of their newfound relationship.

They both took a seat across from each other and fell into a comfortable silence. Several moments passed before Natalie broke it, smirking from behind the lip of her wine glass.

"You know…I never thanked you for saving me." She looked down at her feet, twisting them against the grooves in the wood.

Adrian swallowed hard and looked intently at her, as her eyes found his again and his shoulder jumped against his will. He was almost taken aback by the statement. He had never once considered her having to thank him. He would trek through sewage a hundred times to save her. "You didn't have to," he replied simply.

Natalie could feel her heart throb as she realized he would have never expected a thank you. _It had never even crossed his mind, _she thought suddenly. She rubbed at her nose as it began to prickle with unshed tears. "I love you, Mr. Monk," she whispered. She was sure she detected a glint in his own glossy eyes.

She placed the wine glass down on the table and it sloshed softly before settling again. She stretched her arms across the table and captured his rough hands in her own soft ones. "Would you stay with me, Adrian? Would you stay with me always?" She asked in a wavering voice.

The tears that had so carefully balanced in his eyes finally relented and trickled down his cheeks. He nodded, a gentle smile caressing his face and he squeezed her hands tighter.

From the top of the stairwell, Julie watched on as the two of them shared such an intimate moment. She didn't know how long she had sat there; however, it was long enough for her legs to have fallen numb under her weight on them, but she was unable to abandon the scene. It felt as though she were in a parallel universe, watching her mother and Adrian finally allowing themselves to revel in the love they held for one another. She watched as Natalie left her chair and went to stand behind Adrian, where she wrapped her arms around his neck and let them rest on his chest. She bent down to place a kiss on the crown of his head. Her mother lingered there, her nose buried in his black curls.

It wasn't until Adrian had stood himself and gathered her mother in a hug, making her look doll-sized against his frame, that she finally went back to her room. Whatever had happened that led them to such a profound realization would stay between them and she was content with that.

* * *

Thank you for reading! I look so forward to hearing from you.


	14. Epilogue

For those who have been following this story, thank you for joining me once more. As you all know, these past months have been a rollercoaster and I've been barely hanging on for the ride. Many things have changed in my life and as a result, I have been unable to work on writing and other things of that nature. I may consider writing another story or a sequel to this one if time allows.

I want to thank you one last time for all of the love this story has received. With that said, please enjoy the last installment of this story.

-Rachel

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Epilogue

Julie flew down the stairs, taking them two at a time. Three overnight bags, big enough to tote bodies in, hung from her skinny arms.

"I'll be back in two weeks!" She called to her mother and Adrian as she scurried to the front door.

"Call, please! Once a night!" Natalie yelled from the living room.

"I know. I know," Julie sighed and rolled her eyes as she adjusted one of the bags that had fallen off of her shoulder.

The door slammed shut and Natalie looked down at Adrian, laughing quietly. "She reminds me of me," she mused. "Scary thought."

Adrian lay sprawled out on the couch, his head tucked comfortably in Natalie's lap. "It's just camp, Natalie. She...she'll be fine."

Natalie nodded and curled a strand of Adrian's hair around her finger. She released it and watched it spring back in place. She knew he didn't really mean that, seeing as camp would be his childhood nightmare, but she appreciated the sentiment. "I just hope she didn't get my wild gene."

Adrian nodded exceedingly as the images of the stories that Natalie had told of her wild youth came to mind.

He wouldn't indulge her with this information, but he feared Julie had much more of her mother in her than Natalie cared to acknowledge.

He turned his head to the TV where a documentary on wildlife was playing. Morgan Freeman's voice boomed over the speakers, describing in detail the natural gore taking place. He enjoyed documentaries, but the wildlife ones were a bit crass for him, what with all the carnivorous hunting and eating.

He let his eyes wander over to a picture of Mitch on an adjacent shelf. A tiny Julie was seen sitting squarely atop his shoulders, thousand-watt smiles on both of their faces. He could see Natalie's smile in Julie's own.

His eyes then traveled to Natalie. She was watching absentmindedly as two gazelles bolted across the terrain, a lion in fast pursuit after them. She visibly cringed as the lion pounced on the hind of one, its muscles flexing impressively until the gazelle's back legs buckled beneath it.

He pondered over how both of their lives had changed so drastically from the time and place that the picture of Julie and her dad was taken to where they were now.

Natalie felt eyes upon her and let her gaze fall to Adrian. She gave him a small, contented smile and briefly considered all that they had endured.

She still had nightmares and feared she always would. She still had days that were difficult to get through and memories she could not repress that would resurface with a simple trigger. But she was proud of her progress and of the newfound strength she hadn't known she possessed.

She was regaining her life; however, if she was honest with herself, she was building a _new _life. A new life that included Adrian being with her in ways she never dreamed possible.

Emotions came in cyclical form and as advised by her psychiatrist she was to allow these emotions to wash over her. Allow them to be present and express them so that they could leave in similar fashion. That was what she was working on and would continue to.

In the meantime, she was focusing on discovering more of what her and Adrian's relationship was capable of being and she was excited at that prospect. She hadn't any hope after Lonny, but Adrian was able to rekindle many feelings and needs inside of her again that she was slowly readying to explore.

She suddenly realized how long she had been looking at Adrian when it dawned on her that he was giving her a puzzled expression.

She averted her eyes and smiled pensively at the ceiling. After a moment of contemplation and before he could inquire, she quietly said "I think I'm really happy."

Adrian wasn't sure if she was saying this more to herself or to him, but he smiled nonetheless, causing the creases around his eyes to crinkle.

"I think I am, too."

* * *

The End


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